gotlucky
Missing The PointTesla announces that only Tesla Blue subscribers will have access to brakes.
#TeslaBlue
#TeslaBlue
danwest@MissingThePt Tesla Blue account holders will also have access to future upgrades, such as Tesla Clear, which will, for a small additional fee, turn the windshield non-opaque. (don't tell anyone I leaked this, I don't want to get sued)
Badwolf303
Aleggra@marcibadwolf303 @MissingThePt @danwest
Square wheels on Teslas? What genius came up with that idea?
@marcibadwolf303 @MissingThePt @danwest
Square wheels on Teslas. Musk doesnโt even understand basic friction.
โa square wheel has a relatively large sliding friction due to its large faces, making the friction greater than a circular wheel.โ High school physics
Whiskey Bottle@MissingThePt Alphas driving Teslas donโt need breaks; they just expect everyone else to get out of their way. A fire extinguisher might come in handy though.
CarlRJ@Whiskey_bottle @MissingThePt no fire extinguisher, just make more of the Tesla out of asbestos.
๐๐๐
EM has lost his tiny brain. He probably left it in some teen-looking femaleโs uterus while trying to impregnate her.
ZZ Bottom
0x575446, Fifth Columnist@MissingThePt As an advertisement, the driver assistance system will occasionally slam on the brakes to demonstrate what you're missing out on.
As in a cracked forehead?
BCVenice1@MissingThePt What could possibly go wrong?
@BCnYA @MissingThePt An FTC audit. And fine, because somehow I don't think this was fully considered and evaluated. But I am sure Musk's views will go up, even if 90% of the remaining Tesla employees really spend most of their time viewing Musk's tweets, and writing bots to automate the process.
Jarjan (He/Him)@MissingThePt In the next version of their T&C: "be aware that access to the breaks may be revoked at any time" :D
@MissingThePt Of course by that time your breaks won't be called "your breaks" anymore. It'll be "the breaking features on the car". (It won't really be your car anymore, you'll have paid for the privilege of being able to subscribe to the various features that Tesla may decide to offer, or not offer, now and in the future.)
๐๐คฃ๐
Shoq ๐ฟ@MissingThePt I made that joke 4 weeks ago. Just not as well. Try to do better:-)
Riaz Ur Rahaman
David Gonzalez 
@MissingThePt ๐๐๐
@MissingThePt And I am wondering how the FTC will view this, given the pre-existing compliance mandate. But hey, it is a flaming dumpster spectacle, brought to you by Musk/Spiro. Why should it get any better?
David M Reiss MD@MissingThePt
Only:
$8/red light
$4/stop sign
No charge for flashing yellow but must tweet pic of intersection to QElon
How much for hitting hippies? I bet some fascists would pay up to $100 per.
@MissingThePt Tesla also announces brakes are not safe.
amangledethos@MissingThePt please donโt give them ideas. Lol
Retepkce ๐@MissingThePt only losers use brakesโฆ
Tammy@MissingThePt ๐คฃ๐
(((JaneinNJ)))@MissingThePt ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
maddie (MOVED!) 
@MissingThePt their logic would be "well, everyone needs access to brakes, so if we put them behind a paywall, people will have to pay extra!" in reality, if something like this did happen, people would just drive their teslas without brakes
Rory@MissingThePt I'm sure that those that bought that car, were weighed down by having to buy a steering wheel....
Stefan Scholl@MissingThePt Glad I saw your username. Sneaky.
Dr. Guillermo Power 
Gnu Linux Boring Nerd Devhack@MissingThePt
Stop giving them ideas!
Stop giving them ideas!
Frank Verhoeven@MissingThePt Lol, in the replies here I see that many people mix up โbrakesโ with โbreaksโ. As does Teslaโฆ
Marcie Milletary@MissingThePt The comments on this are pure gold! ๐คฃ
หdรคlfษnโข๐ฌ ๐ฅ ๐
Quixoticgeek@MissingThePt to be fair, is this not what BMW does with indicators ?
Curly Wyer๐ค So the people without brakes are the Tesla Browns?
DarryB
xenxennox@MissingThePt wait this is a joke right?
microtherion@MissingThePt Tesla Blue subscribers will get early access to the Tesla Family Plan, where they can designate up to 2 children as Not to Be Hit in Full Self Driving mode.
CtBk@MissingThePt Only Tesla Blue subscribers will be able to silence that annoying sound alarm when driving their car with the safety belts unfastened.
Queer Sci Fi
n3wjack@MissingThePt non Tesla Blue subscribers get the free self-driving beta program though
Larry 
@MissingThePt about time. For too long, anti-breakers have had their voices silenced by big-tech, in collision- err, in mean -collusion, with the socialist democrat agenda. Freedom can only be achieved by constantly moving forward! #BrakesForMeNotForThee
IngridHoardsby
beforewisdom 
@MissingThePt Yes discouraging people from using security features is always a smart idea!
Classics Reader
Clay Vermulm@MissingThePt And if you go Tesla Platinum, you even get airbags. Only 16.99 per month
MOVED TO @MissingThePt
Other Tesla drivers as they blow past at the red light: โHaha sucker, you paid for brakes!โ
Other Tesla drivers as they blow past at the red light: โHaha sucker, you paid for brakes!โ
Raphaelle@MissingThePt excellent ! :D
JMD
โก๏ธ axeshun โก๏ธ 
@MissingThePt
Definitely worth a follow, for this toot alone. ๐๐๐
Definitely worth a follow, for this toot alone. ๐๐๐
Cecelia@MissingThePt If Tesla actually needed the money, it would be Tesla Red, of course.
Red matches the premium brake color and is also an ambiguous word that would cause confusion in which subscribers might now assume they can read in their cars.
Red matches the premium brake color and is also an ambiguous word that would cause confusion in which subscribers might now assume they can read in their cars.
Old Man Mike
Nafnlaus ๐ฎ๐ธ ๐บ๐ฆ@oldmanmike @MissingThePt Pedal misapplication. Common in all models of cars, and always has been. The panicked person who thinks the accelerator is the brake just keeps pressing on it as hard as they can in their panic, hoping to "override the accelerator" and slow the car down.
There's airplane equivalents of this, too, where pilots end up crashing their planes
@nafnlaus sorry but no fucking way
@oldmanmike Sorry but yes. Google it. Widely recognized by the NHTSA for decades. Investigated for many cars (including Teslas), many, many times over.
More to the point, in the hi-res videos, you can literally see that the brake lights aren't on. And the acceleration starts right when they would have needed to press the brake (for the motorcycle).
There is a PHYSICAL LINKAGE from the brake pedal to the brakes. And the brakes are more powerful than the motors. They were NOT braking.
author_is_ShrikeTron๐ ๐x5@nafnlaus @oldmanmike I believe using two feet driving (one for brake, one for accelerator) may help those whom have difficulty with one foot differentiation.