Twitter Death Cult
lmao, "we found out your epic posts were overloading the mainframe sir"
Some engineer did a fantastic job of saving probably their entire team's jobs by pulling that whopper of a lie out of their ass
lmao he probably thinks ddos is when normal people aren't being force-fed catturd2 posts
Good to know me #BlockTheBlue'ing is killing Musk's site
lmfao the replies on that are just garbage ass feature requests, complaints, crypto grifters, billionaire boot lickers and shitty memes
extremely funny that he paid billions to be King Mod and has managed to fuckup his dogshit website so badly that now no one sees his terrible posts
This could be solved incredibly easily by just making “following” a simple chronological feed just like everybody wants, but, no, the Boer must have muh elgerithim
Throwing daily jargon updates at the customer is a sign the project is going super well!
he has no idea what any of this means
lmaoooooo
didn't spend ad dollars, just had the intern post a youtube link to their commercial
Finally, twitter is fixed
https://www.theverge.com/2023/2/13/23598514/twitter-algorithm-elon-musk-tweets
so mad at bluechecks that you end up with a system that is
a: redundant (double badging!) and confusing and
b: looks like the unicode fake verification the lamest goobers used to do
Twitter turning into ‘Elon forcing his terrible boomer ass tweets down everyone’s throats’ is exceeding my wildest expectations
And at least jay stile sold his site at a profit
oh my fucking god this is over his "go eagles" tweet that he deleted by the next morning
he's going to make his last remaining engineer force everyone to like 5 of musk's tweets before they can see one post on their timeline
just hard-code a 2M "like" head start onto every one of his tweets, maybe that'll shut him up
the future is being written entirely by pathetic idiot babymen
https://www.platformer.news/p/yes-elon-musk-created-a-special-system
My man was refreshing his tweet staring at his view count the whole time he was at the Super Bowl and then, instead of going to an after party orgy like a normal billionaire, got right on his private jet to yell at tired engineers who scrambled down to the office on a Sunday night.
Winning!
Imagining him calling an all-hands codeathon session to get this "problem" "fixed", frantically hoping they can do it without anybody outside the company finding out, because that's like the only thing that he really fears, being seen as a pitiful needy dweeb who has to buy his likes
All depends on secrecy. Every aspect of his self-worth hangs on whether they can make this work without anyone finding out.
And like two days later, boom lmao
I mean it wasn’t subtle. Overnight he was literally the only thing that would show up in that “for you” thing. Everyone noticed that twitter was forcing musk tweets to the top of the timeline, and anyone with a greater than baseline capacity for pattern recognition than him immediately connected the dots and figured out what he’d done.
I just didn’t realize the reason was even pettier than even we could imagine
Truly, reality is even more pathetic than the theories we come up with as a joke. The billionaire threw a toddler tantrum because the president of the United States got more engagement than he did. And he even deleted the tweet that started this with, I can only assume, tears of impotent rage in his little eyes.
This might genuinely be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.
Guess that’s the end of the blocking feature...
I feel like the twitter engineers going to be up for another long day tomorrow
Wasn't it only like just a week ago that he was crowing about how he had saved Twitter from bankruptcy?
"trending toward breakeven" or some such nonsense lol
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/15/elon-musk-aiming-to-appoint-new-twitter-ceo-by-end-of-2023.html
Another expose on twitter internals:
-Elon is on meth 24/7 and running things like a cartoon caricature of steve jobs, making everyone do 80 hour weeks and firing them for cause if they say the wrong word
-Twitter now has 1 principal engineer (he fired the other one for telling him he’s not popular)
-Elon also suggested banning everyone not from the US or Japan to cut costs and make the whole thing a subscription service
https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-twitter-tesla-crisis-mood-intensity-2023-2
Damn, the man is desperate
jesus christ he's doing the dril tweet irl
this is all so pathetic
really funny that he's claiming a 'review' proves it's false but not actually posting any data
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/02/16/elon-musk-twitter/
the reduced engagement simply cannot be a result of people being driven off of the platform by elon's behavior or elon's shitty fucking tweets. he's posting just as well as he always has, and he has a hundred million followers. how many folllowers do you have??? aha exactly, not that many friend journalist!!! gottem
he literally can't face the reality that he simply is a repellent man baby with the worlds thinnest skin, he has to insist that no he's actually been posting bangers this whole time
Patrick Ross