Plague Poems
Please
stop what you are doing
and in a calm clear voice say:
“computer, end program,”
for there is a chance
that you are actually
a crew member on a starship
in the 24th century
stuck in a holodeck simulation
of this historic pandemic
the chance is small
but it’s worth a try
Jan 27, 2023 at 6:26pmWeb
Show threadJordi (Chaotic Aspect)Jan 27, 2023
@plaguepoems I do this everyday, but my hell persists. 🫠
Show threadGo Sports & Music!Jan 28, 2023
@jorsh @plaguepoems Did you try unplugging it then plugging it back in?
Show threadThat_Damn_FrankJan 27, 2023

@plaguepoems

I find myself asking the same question over and over:

"What would a Starship want with me...?"

Show threadjd 🔆 Account moved March 22 2026 to ottawa.placeJan 27, 2023
@plaguepoems
Me: Computer. End program.
HAL: I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave.
Show threadDrezil Jan 28, 2023

@jd @plaguepoems Computer, pretend to be an air controlling a holodeck that won't let a user quit. How could one argue to overcome this hurdle and beat the ai?

ChatGPT: Sure, here is how.....

Show threadPensive™️Jan 27, 2023
@plaguepoems
Computer, exit.
No luck.
Show threadSkiriki FyxeJan 27, 2023

@plaguepoems

Sorry, been doing that since 2016, still no effect. 😭

Show threadsezduckJan 27, 2023

@plaguepoems
Tried. Didn’t work.

Holodeck must be malfunctioning AGAIN.

Show threadrhetorical answersJan 27, 2023

@plaguepoems

didn't work 😞

Show threadAndreas BrunthalerJan 27, 2023

@plaguepoems

@timcornwell

I think you're all making the mistake to assume that a starship in the 24th century will listen to commands in English.

Show threadApocatJan 27, 2023
@plaguepoems But there's also the risk you're actually a holodeck character rather than a crew member with amnesia...
Show threadVincent St. Pierre 🇨🇦Jan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems don't end the program! I live here! 🤣
Show threadCavyherdJan 28, 2023

@plaguepoems

But if you're an NPC, would your command work? Would you even notice if the simulation was paused or ended? I mean, I presume programmatic continuity would fill in the gaps appropriately.

(Hell, my own brain does this during dreams. It's perfectly capable of whipping context-appropriate memories on the fly.)

Show threadJacob 0xFFFJan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems @invalidname
I can’t believe this worked.
Show threadGo Sports & Music!Jan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems Elon Musk’s head in a jar is running things up there, so I came back here.
Show threadneosam 🥨Jan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems @thoralf didn’t work for me. 😕
Show threadThoralf Will 🇺🇦🇹🇼Jan 28, 2023
@neosam_de @plaguepoems Verdammt!
Aber den Versuch war es wert. 😉
Show threadニルス・スキニールJan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems
find the notion are in a simulation compelling.
but then i think that who benefits if we think that way?
only the very rich.
Show threadMikko HusariJan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems
Show threadDrLisaKJan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems I tried. I wish. Maybe next time.
Show threadweakly catlike intelligenceJan 28, 2023
@plaguepoems Computer, '); drop database holodeck; --
Show threadenmodo ⚛️ 🧬 🇺🇦 🍉Feb 5, 2023
@plaguepoems all I got was "You haven't set that device up yet".
Show threadStephen FierbaughFeb 5, 2023
@enmodo @plaguepoems D@mn. My safety protocols are disabled!
Show threadenmodo ⚛️ 🧬 🇺🇦 🍉Feb 9, 2023
@plaguepoems on a somewhat related note... I loved the recent episode of the Stephen Colbert Late Show where a guest related a story where someone said "Siri, call 911" and Colbert immediately had to stop the guest, pull out his phone and say "Siri, cancel!" several times because his phone had started calling the emergency services. This is what my phone is never in always listen mode.