Irishangel123Jan 7, 2023
Anna

Kids. Children. Offspring. Light of your life.

#Boost for reach please.

I have a kid/kids
33.1%
I don’t have kids but might one day
11.3%
I don’t have kids and don’t plan to
51.2%
Why did I have kids?
4.4%
Poll ended at .
Jan 7, 2023 at 5:50amWeb
Show threadAnnaJan 7, 2023
Had to edit and repost, apologies, my brain should be resting. The last question isn’t really a joke: I read an article full of people who admitted they regret having a child/children. It made me go 🤔
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/11/breaking-taboo-parents-who-regret-having-children
This isn’t the one I read but there are many articles out there. I didn’t think it was so common. Another one is that favourites do exist. WTF.
‘It's the breaking of a taboo’: the parents who regret having children

It’s tiring, often boring – and can mean a return to more traditional roles. Why some mothers (and fathers) feel they made a mistake

The Guardian
Show threadRiJan 7, 2023
@halcionandon I really really want(ed) to have children but I wouldn't be able to take care of them because of severe ME.
Show threadAnnaJan 7, 2023
@skippingmoonrocks I’m very sorry to hear that. 🫂  
It’s a difficult subject. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. I doubt very much I will have them either.
Show threadRiJan 7, 2023

@halcionandon no i think it should be talked about more. People are like, if you don't have children it's because you're invertile, or because you don't want them. There are more complex options than that that are never talked about.

Thanks for hugging me. Very nice hugs.

Show threadHerzleidJan 7, 2023

@skippingmoonrocks  
I, too, always thought I would have children. Then I never found the right partner, had a long stretch of depression, started freelancing … When I was ready to try doing it on my own, I found out society *really* doesn't want you to have children if you're single, old (I was 36 at the time), fat and neurodivergent. If you don't have the magic component that lets you do what you want (lots and lots of money), options are actually very limited.

So no kids, but it's not a deliberate *decision* or stance. Just a convergence of circumstances making it too difficult to achieve. In terms of this poll, I'm somewhere between option 2 and 3 (I answered 2 because I might still meet a partner with children, maybe fostering is still possible etc, but I'm mostly anticipating being childless.) @halcionandon

Show threadRiJan 7, 2023
@herzleid have thoughts i want to reply to you but currently no spoons to type that much. I'm hoping to come back to this later. @halcionandon
Show threadHerzleidJan 7, 2023
@skippingmoonrocks No worries. 💜
Show threadオチュー (stop colonialism 🇵🇸)Jan 7, 2023

@halcionandon It always seemed pretty wild to me that so much people wanted to have children.

I get the sexual drive that could have lead to them; in a no-contraceptive world. But now ? Out of that one hollow storytelling line from tradition/family/faith/state about children being the royal way to happiness ?

I heard of that one study claiming that couples without offspring rated their happiness a bit higher than the one with ; but the ones with had more "peak moment" to talk about -on average

Show threadAdam KielińskiJan 7, 2023
@halcionandon
It's too early for me to say. Need to stand on my own two feet for a while to get to know myself better first. And that is only to know if I could, there's also a question of if I would - which is an entirely different one. I need to have a more defined direction in life to know if I would, at 22 years of age the ground isn't stable enough to know if I would want to take care of a child for two decades. Tabula rasa isn't filled up enough to show if "parent" is a possibility.
Show threadZazzy VageenJan 7, 2023
@halcionandon i have kids! and i certainly don't regret having them because they are amazing people i'm so delighted & privileged to know. it's been amazing to watch them grow up and i believe they are both actively making the world a better place BUT...sometimes (and we talk about this a lot) i do feel a bit like i didn't fully account for *what* type of world/future i was bringing them into when i had them. i was 23/27 when they were born and a lot more naive/optimistic than i am today, about things like the socio-economic, political, and environmental state of the world.
Show threadAnnaJan 7, 2023
@zazzyv This is why nature makes us young and horny before we have a chance to think things through. I worry about kids these days too. (Yes I do like them!) Because of so many reasons, but especially because when I was growing up we were promised a future. Now nobody knows what’s happening day to day, month to month… we’re still in a pandemic. I don’t envy your job.
Show threadZazzy VageenJan 7, 2023
@halcionandon yes, exactly. and it's also why when my kids tell me they aren't sure they'll be procreating i *completely* understand. it's a different thing entirely when you're reasonably certain survival is just going to continue to get harder and harder. will never understand those who pressure people to have children; that's messed up.
Show threadɘniɿTJan 8, 2023
@halcionandon I got kids because that’s a box I ticked. I also got the average two kids. A boy and a girl.
A great deal of luck was of course involved in me being able to tick that box, but now it’s done.
I love them to bits but it’s insanely hard work, though it gets easier when they grow up.
Sometimes I can’t help think about what other things I might have accomplished if I hadn’t got any kids, that has taken all the spoons I have had the last 17 years.
Show threadɘniɿTJan 8, 2023
@halcionandon not necessarily a better life, I don’t think, but very different. Probably more productive from a capitalist standpoint, and we all know by now (I hope) that, that is not a particularly great standpoint.
Show thread𝓢𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓪 never said…Jan 10, 2023
@halcionandon what about currently trying to get secretly knocked up?
Show threadGethin ColesJan 10, 2023
@halcionandon my bum must've voted for "I don't have kids and don't intend to" because I didn't, and I do.