Mastodawn

Philip Dec 20, 2022

I'm from #SouthAfrica. I don't understand much about the US. For example, what is all the fuss you people make about pronouns? I seriously don't get it. You can use any pronoun you want to refer to me. I don't care. Third-person pronouns are used (in English anyway) when the person isn't present - it's incredibly rude to use those pronouns if the person is there in the room with you. So, why does it bother people which ones are used if they're not there?

Or am I missing something?

#pronouns

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Lee

Dec 21, 2022

@Philip It's not that complicated. It's about respect. If you respect someone, if you respect their personhood, you use their preferred pronouns regardless of their presence. You say you don't care which pronouns people use about you - that's great, for you. But for some people it would matter. That should be enough reason.

@leb Thank you.

I had a think.

So, it seems that there are some people who insist on being spoken about in a certain way in their absence. Isn't that a form of illness?

Corollary: My respect for people originates and comes to fruition from within _me_. It can be expected but not requested.

For example, I talk about the late queen in exactly the same way as I talk about Fred down the road. I show my respect for both of them equally as people because of who I am, not who they are.

Have a great day!

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Lee

Dec 22, 2022

@Philip Perhaps the illness is insisting that you're the final authority on other people. That their lived experience is less valuable than yours, less reliable than yours, less worthy than yours. You say that respect is inherent to you, but clearly it's not or using people's preferred pronouns wouldn't be an issue.

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Philip

@leb

Thank you. I'm going to have another think. At first blush, though, I'm pretty sure I have been misunderstood. If I have expressed myself poorly, I will be the first to apologise. Gimme some time to take in what was said.