Lady Supernova
Janel Comeauif 6.5 million people had been eaten by tigers and there was suddenly a new wave of super-tigers that could evade all existing anti-tiger precautions, people would think you'd lost the plot if you declared that the tiger problem was basically over
Fritz@VeryBadLlama Don’t forget that millions more people have tiny tigers lodged inside them, ready to begin eating them at some future time…
Surreptilian@fritzt @VeryBadLlama that's why I like comparing it to werewolves mauling people. You might not die if you get nipped, but you're gonna do some werewolfing of your own if you don't stay locked up for a little while.
Elon Musk’s Horse Wallet@VeryBadLlama 7 people a day are dying of tiger attacks in my state, but they were all old and slow so it doesn’t count.
Dave 
🇺🇸🇺🇦@slackerzombie @VeryBadLlama More people die each day from paper cuts than from tiger attacks, so we should not pay attention to tiger attacks at all.
Chris Metcalf@VeryBadLlama But I really really really need to go to Chilli's... https://media4.giphy.com/media/tsMqu87Zgo4wBhytIN/200.gif
Season 2 Nbc GIF by The Office - Find & Share on GIPHY
Discover & share this The Office GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.
Jessica@VeryBadLlama https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War Your Tiger comment reminded me of this..The Emus won
Annie@[email protected] but it’s fine, see, because the new tigers aren’t killing quite so many people, they’re just permanently maiming them. So no worries!
StroomAfwaarts 🌱@anne Nonono! Tigers have been extinct since 2021!
Amanda Hugankiss@VeryBadLlama we should learn to live with the tigers? Yeah, that wouldn’t fly either.
A. Rivera@VeryBadLlama the "olds" need to volunteer to let the tigers eat them so the rest of society can get on with life: shopping, going to bars, etc.
Trillion Byter@VeryBadLlama It's like they've never played a video game. There's always a more powerful boss at the next level.
donkey jess
Mark Power@VeryBadLlama "Look ... I only lost a leg ..."
Gabriel Pettier@markpower @VeryBadLlama heh, will just have to run faster next time!
@tshirtman @VeryBadLlama That'll be very difficult on the one leg! 😛
@markpower @VeryBadLlama (that's the joke 
)
(and an apt - i think - parallel to getting covid over and over)
@tshirtman @VeryBadLlama Aahh...goddamit. I did question that as I was posting it! Impossible to tell in this format.
I did hope ... and very glad ... it was 😁👍
I did hope ... and very glad ... it was 😁👍
ejcrotty@markpower @VeryBadLlama just heard of multiple COVID "survivors" with weird blood clot issues. I wear n95 mask whenever in a crowd, train, airport, plane.
rainey 🌻@VeryBadLlama Well, I haven't seen any tigers in *my* area, so obviously these other people are just making up stories to sell anti-tiger gear, which I hear is known to cause cancer in California. I'm not in California, but I'm not taking any chances.
kmetz@VeryBadLlama scare of tigers hurts the economy! People won‘t show up at work etc.!
Jonathan Smith@VeryBadLlama I don’t believe in tigers. Those mauled and limbless bodies died WITH tigers, not OF tigers.
Besides, my cat bites me all the time, so it’s no big deal.
I’m a free thinker, me.
Madpiper@VeryBadLlama then they woukd call tiger king
Phil Solis@VeryBadLlama The estimates are bwtween 13.2 million and 16.6 million for 2020 and 2021 alone. This estimate compares deaths with expected/projected deaths and is more accurate than official counts alone. By the end of 2022, we are somewhere between 20 and 25 million deaths from COVID.
Pēteris Krišjānis@philsolis @VeryBadLlama I wanted to say that even more conservative estimates put that around 10m.
lanmowerif 6.5 million people had lost their lives and livelihood by fighting a proxy war, and there's news that the war is about to become super-costly, you wouldn't allow tax collectors to buy them weapons to fight that war would you?
If super tigers didn't exist, and the news were full of super tigers, and new tiger guns are permanently advertised by lockheed, issued to children and old people, and people started dying on the street from tiger gun accidents, you'd advocate that the madness ends 🤡
Carey@VeryBadLlama But once someone's been mauled by a tiger, the tigers won't want to attack them again will they?
(((Jann Gobble)))🏳️🌈@VeryBadLlama Depends, do those people - who declared it over - think that they got away from the tigers once - so the tigers can't find them again? 😉
Catherine is not complacent@VeryBadLlama I’m certain you could manage tigers with essential oils or something for deworming livestock.
Rev.Hans 
@VeryBadLlama All very well & good (& I only stopped reading your posts because the Mastodon got slower...), but I'm wondering, What is it with the Swedish Yule Goat?
@VeryBadLlama
That is a very good point
That is a very good point
Blaidd_3.14159@VeryBadLlama
It's a good thing that nothing resembling tigers has happened then
It's a good thing that nothing resembling tigers has happened then
Charity Feb@VeryBadLlama my daughter laughed out loud to this. This needs to be a billboard somewhere prominent.
🆘Bill Cole 🇺🇦@VeryBadLlama Well, but… the super-tigers only bite off a limb at a time instead of eating people whole? Surely that's a reasonable compromise…
AlexEdwards@VeryBadLlama But we're TIRED of dealing with tigers, and fixing the problem might be expensive. So we'll just recommend that people buy anti-tiger spray if they feel particularly vulnerable to tiger attacks.
Rui Malheiro@AlexEdwards it's not that it's expensive, it just diverts too many resources into research, public healthcare and social security. That's less money for private jets and private islands. Who would want that?
@VeryBadLlama
@VeryBadLlama
Darryl Ramm@VeryBadLlama It's not a virus... what we in fact call a tiger....
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life- A Tiger? In Africa?
david koblas@VeryBadLlama It's all about branding. It's not Super Tiger it's got to be "Tiger Tornado - The Rise of the Stripe, in 3D".
Humor aside, we're terrible at these things
Jeff ♨️ Darcy@VeryBadLlama Some people's threat response is limited to shooting it or ignoring it.
@VeryBadLlama.
Perhaps it’s time to start talking about COVID-induced damage to executive function.
Perhaps it’s time to start talking about COVID-induced damage to executive function.
Michael Stanclift@VeryBadLlama look these tigers mauling grandma are just something we’re going to have to live with.
Like the bears.
Incident Creator ❎@VeryBadLlama
I dunno, we've a pretty good track record of inventing new and exciting methods of eliminating tigers.
I dunno, we've a pretty good track record of inventing new and exciting methods of eliminating tigers.
jprestonian@VeryBadLlama
If any internet comment begged for the response, "I have a rock," it is this one.
If any internet comment begged for the response, "I have a rock," it is this one.
Morrigan
Liz Awesome@VeryBadLlama thank you
Eniko (moved ➡ gamedev.place)@VeryBadLlama but we have a spray that smells bad to tigers and is extremely effective*
*for the first few months until the scent wears off you have a 30-60% chance of not being attacked by tigers, after it wears off that goes down to almost nil but on the bright side most people who are mauled by tigers don't get fully eaten by them cause they now taste bad so it's fine. since getting the spray we've told people they no longer need to wear their anti tiger attack armor and we refuse to outfit public areas with tiger traps
Robert O’Shea 
@VeryBadLlama
I assume people think they could easily survive a virus or whatever. From interactions with people who were completely anti-vax, they seemed to think they are invincible.
I assume people think they could easily survive a virus or whatever. From interactions with people who were completely anti-vax, they seemed to think they are invincible.
Inspired@VeryBadLlama Sadly, they haven't lost the plot. The plot is "the world ends" and the pacing is "slow burn". Everybody loves these long-arc shows.
@VeryBadLlama we face an incredible and apparently insurmountable problem when the tigers are small enough to hitch rides on water droplets and eat you from the inside out, because the people that don't want to get injected with tiger repellant are also vehemently against the faceguards
Dae bow bow@currentbias @VeryBadLlama Well my boss says if you believe extra hard that you won't get tigers it won't happen to you, and that tiger anxiety opens you up to more and more tigers. The guy doesn't seem to have a lot of experience with tigers or big cats in general but he seems very self-assured about his approach to this. I can tell he has confidence because he brings it up constantly and doesn't let his kids ask me questions about my tiger-repellant gear. 👍