Mastodawn

andrea patrice Dec 19, 2022

I grew up in a chaotic household with intergenerational #trauma + abusive behaviour (unrecognised #neurodiversity in an entire family can really mess you up!) but Christmas was the one day of the year when everyone behaved and we actually felt like a family. So for me, this holiday has always signified happy family time- I’m usually very excited by this time in December!

But this year, I’m not feeling it. For the first time ever, I’m not looking forward to Christmas. 🧵 1/

Show thread

andrea patrice Dec 19, 2022

My spouse R & I have been a happy 2-person family for almost 15 years now, but in the last year or two deterioration of my mobility due to #MECFS and my increasing care needs have really put a strain on our relationship. R works all hours at 2 jobs to support us financially, cooks all our meals & does almost all the housework & animal care. Needless to say, he’s *incredibly* stressed. Hopefully with the stairlift & social worker we’re going to get some more help, but it’s hard.

#disability 2/

Show thread

andrea patrice

It makes me incredibly sad to see how much R has had to take on because I’m so ill, and how slow support has been to get to us because of the neglected nature of my illness by the health and medical establishment. And of course, there’s the guilt. So much guilt.

Christmas in our house is usually a low key affair, just the two of us enjoying gifts under the tree, a meal, and lots of TV and games. But I just don’t want to make any more work for R, and making Christmas happen *is* work. 3/

Show thread

andrea patrice Dec 19, 2022

There’s a lot of stress and tension in our house— my frustration that I can’t do the physical tasks I used to do without thinking, R’s frustration that he doesn’t have enough time to do the work of at least 3 people across his various social roles. It doesn’t really get one in the Christmas spirit, I guess. At least we’ve had the recent hope of help with the stairlift and promised care package from the social worker, but happy family Xmas time when we’re so stressed seems like a dream. 🙁 4/end

Show thread

janestegerlewis Dec 19, 2022

@annedraya I hear you. I have the guilt too. I’m lucky in that my OH works at home but I don’t like to ask him to do things and so they don’t get done like they used to. I was approved for a daily carer but health service haven’t been able to find one in almost 2 years. Just wanted to send 😘

Show thread

wonky lines & squiggles Dec 19, 2022

@annedraya That's hard 😞 Hope things do get better support/relief-wise ❤