I hope we're all prepared for yet another wave of discourse about the ways in which the cultural norms of mastodon do and do not enable some users to be their full selves on this platform.
I'm treating this as a kind of inevitability because it is clear that the broader Fediverse has not learned from the previous wave or the waves that preceded it. And this is in spite of claims from some mastodonians that an influx of users will bring change.
Put simply, something we're going to have to reckon with is the centrality and stability of desired modes of conduct on this platform, specifically as they are policed and enforced through the technical apparatus of the platforms.
What this means is newcomers who point out the cultural weirdness of the space won't be QTed to oblivion, but they will find their mentions inundated by "well meaning" mastodonians who are trying to explain "the way things are."
This explanation serves to reinforce the very norms of conduct, the very cultural norms, that newcomers will struggle against. Further, this explanation will often treat these norms as unquestioned goods, as a moral order that cannot and should not be transgressed.
Put simply, these explanations will place the onus on the newcomer to "change or die," or; "find another server" without recognizing the ways that they are actually denying the very premises of mastodon they claim to uphold.
Insofar as long time mastodonians, and newcomers who're comfortable with these norms will persist in this kind of behavior, we're more likely going to see "balkanization" among instances at best; ghettoization at worst as people self-isolate through instance creation in some pretty unproductive ways.
Moreover, given mastodon's history with instances run by folks of color, this is a Very Bad thing.
Moreover, this treatment of the social and technical structure of mastodon as an unquestioned good also leads to the rapid problematization of folks who do not treat the social and technical structures as the unquestioned goods they're "supposed" to be.
To quote Sara Ahmed, "when you pose a problem, you become a problem," and in becoming the problem, the solution is to make the user go away. Or "start your own instance."
If we start there, then MAYBE we might find a way to welcome this new wave of users such that they can figure out how to be at home in the fediverse and, in doing so, we can figure out how to improve the ways that the fediverse serves as a social platform.
Or, you know, we can repeat the same shit but with a whole bunch more people involved in the discourse.
@shengokai The weirdness will definitely be shunned and silenced out here and ofc black and brown folks would have to bear the brunt of that, for our very mode of existence here and our everyday way of talking itself can be perceived as weird.
We will always be condescended to and patronised here. Walking on eggshells on what norm, conduct we be violating.
@impactology @shengokai How were you able to pull those results? I've felt muted a while at Twitter, and someone noted my interaction rate of original Tweets is abysmal!
I would love to check, did you use a 3rd party app?
@shengokai This really clarified a lot of things for me.
I know I don’t want to repeat the kinds of things I found exasperating as a new user, the sort of forced cheerful tips for new users that seemed to say, “Fine, just try not to track your natural suck all over our nice place,” under their breath. But I find that it’s nearly impossible to remember what it’s like to be new after becoming established, and that wouldn’t help me anyway in regards to users who aren’t even having an experience like mine.
This is a much more useful approach. Thank you.
@shengokai
Seriously, Jonathan, I have no idea what you're talking about.
This doesn't have to be a problem for you ofc. But as you seem to propose that we should change our behavior I think we should know in which way.
So, please "put it really simply" and give an example of what you're referring to if you don't mind.
@eridukid if you want an example of *exactly the kind of horseshit that was being discussed above*, here's one, another reply to this very thread. if you want more, read the other responses, you'll see them. look at their user pictures. THINK ABOUT WHO IS DEMANDING EXPLANATIONS AND EXAMPLES. THINK ABOUT WHO THIS LABOR IS BEING DEMANDED FROM. THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE *TELLING YOU* TO *LISTEN*.
THINK ABOUT SITTING DOWN, SHUTTING UP, AND L I S T E N I N G
@horststorkebaum
@troodon
"THINK ABOUT SITTING DOWN, SHUTTING UP, AND L I S T E N I N G"
I couldn't have asked for a better explanation. I get it It should just be like it is on Twitter.
Fortunately it isn't. At least not yet.
Keep working hard on it though, and you'll probably succeed.
Some of the friction on twitter was from members of dominant groups being dickheads to minoritised groups. When men talk over women, the recourse is to yell or cry. When cis people talk over trans people. When white people talk over black people.
This isn't a nice experience. To ask a woman for an explanation and she explodes at you. But the asker isn't innocent. They were a tiny dick head in a sea of dickheads.
Right now, stranger on the internet, you are swimming in a sea of dickheads, but it doesn't have to be so. Because in the angry reply that you didn't like, there were specific criticisms that were delivered in an unhappy way, but they had value and you could learn from them.
All of us in the world are sometimes dickheads and today is a great day to work to do that less. The way to reduce frictiion is to be leas fricative. You are part of the solution.
@horststorkebaum @shengokai Please read my response to Ian above. They are asking that you try to understand their point of view, nothing more.
I am asking that they not be treated as idiots for not immediately grasping how Mastodon works, why things work differently here, and how that makes Mastodon better than Twitter. I am asking that people's response to questions and complaints not be "if you don't like it, leave. You should just go set up your own neighborhood, preferably one far away from mine so I don't have to deal with your problems, which I assume are that you are vain, entitled, and too dumb to grasp the inherent beauty of open source. Oh, and I won't explain how to set up a server, because I have forgotten what a pain in the ass it was the first time I tried to figure it out on my own and assume you have the technical skill level and the financial resources to get one up and running.
I know what I just said sounds harsh, but whatever your intentions, that is your effect.
This is a super succinct way of putting it. “Tell me what behaviors to fix,” like racism is a thing you can check off on a list. “Tell me what solution to implement,” like you can patch your way out of whiteness. “Say it to me nicely so I can hear you,” like Audre Lorde didn’t tell us why that was fucking bullshit. https://mastodon.cloud/@monkeyninja/109523561906127238
@monkeyninja @shengokai I think the main pain point is that Mastodon is simply not ready to be a mainstream social network.
This is both a technical problem, but as this thread points out, it is a cultural problem as well.
The people who were on Mastodon before Twitter imploded are here in an effort to *avoid* Twitter-style interactions.
@shengokai hearing your concerns and they're completely valid. Most of the instances that I've seen defederated have been filled with vile, homophobic, racist trolls. I've successfully appealed defederation of a server from my instance's admin who only wants you to be yourself.The quality of your experience in the instance is tied to the admin.
But realize too: this ain't free. I support my admin through ko-fi, and if they start defederating BIPOC I walk and take my money with me.
@shengokai I love this:
"assume that not every user has the same experience of mastodon's social and technical structures as an unquestioned good. Assume that different users' backgrounds shape how they interact with the platform and these interactions might be vastly different than yours. And assume that their experiences are valid."
@shengokai this is a really insightful summary into what’s happening. I’m especially intrigued by the “unquestioned good” aspect of the OG mastodon community. Yes, it’s “good” compared to “bad” bird site, but it remains to be seen if it is “inherently good”. What I’d like to see is more people grasp the concept of “inherently improvable”.
Additionally, I’m concerned that folks here confuse “kindness” (a fundamental belief in a common good) and “politeness” (a fundamental belief in avoiding discomfort).
@shengokai There's a lurking "everyone should like it here" in your points, which is not obviously the case.
It's quite plausible that different people want different things, some of which they can't get from the Fediverse.
"Break what you like to make me happy" is not an effective pitch. "You are obliged to make me happy" is leaving ineffective for worse places.
"This is bad conduct" requires being at least somewhat specific about the conduct.
and develop norms and culture (and possibly software) that supports these.
@shengokai Absolutely this.
But if we accept the popular narrative (I have no idea of the historical truth) that the very tools new users are complaining about were designed by minorities in order to defend against bullying and foster a safe space for discourse — then we have a problem that I don't think technical changes can resolve.
The longevity of my single user instance depends on my behaviour
But then I learned that in ‘88 on Usenet
Dr. Johnathan Flowers
Raghav Agrawal
Missykender
Peace Covey
Sean Lake: famous ballet 
Horst Storkebaum
[MESSAGE ME TO FOLLOW] green
Charles ☭ is now tooting from queer.party
Karsten™️
mav 
Ed Rial
Noah
Tom Bellin 
Growth & Resilience
Mads "Y**i Advocate" Viande
Jackie Gardina
Robert Green
Anna B.
Adam Clark Curry
Drea
Brian Anderson (He/Him)
Graydon
Jeremy
DavGar51
Diogo Neves ☕️
⁂ Fish Id Wardrobe
Luna Corbden
Futurist Jim Carroll