Nona Rose

It’s 1:30am and I probably should be going to sleep but, instead, I am journaling about how I get to see the guy I have a crush on over the weekend (in a purely platonic way) and how there’s basically Buckley’s chance that I am going to be able to suck up the courage to tell him how I feel because I’m pretty sure there a snowballs chance in hell of him feeling the same way about me. All I can think of is reasons why it wouldn’t work and why he wouldn’t want me. *sigh*

Apologies to my followers who are just here for the pretty pictures and/or poetry. I am the epitome of the artist with a tortured soul, and it’s all my own doing.

#love #UnrequitedLove #crush #SelfInflicted #TorturedSoul

Dec 9, 2022 at 2:39pmWeb
Show threadNona RoseDec 11, 2022

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And I missed big time tonight because I didn’t take the shot. I thought about it. And I convinced myself that I couldn’t do it. Every doubt I’ve ever had about myself bubbled to the surface and I couldn’t think of a single reason he’d want to be with me.

Self talk will be your best friend and your worst enemy. Learning which voice to listen to is not easy. Experience and knowledge will help. But sometimes that negative voice will whisper in your brain, and you’ll believe it enough to stop whatever it is you’re doing. Then you hate yourself for listening to that voice and it just reinforces the negativity.

Breaking a cycle like that takes time and energy because you have to internalise all the compliments that people give you when my first reaction is to say, “oh, it was nothing” or “no, I’m not.”

#love #UnrequitedLove #Crush #SelfInflicted #TorturedSoul #SelfTalk

Show threadAJJul 10, 2023
@nona80_swanette I’m sorry. I’ve felt this exact way with someone before, had serious feelings for them for years and mostly still do. They are off with someone else now though because I never took my shot :(
Show threadNona RoseJul 10, 2023
@AndrewMettier I did eventually tell them how I feel. And they were lovely about it, even though it went exactly the way I thought it would. It sucks but at least I know. But, hey, I get to maintain my cool yet tortured artist facade while I come to terms with the very real possibility of being alone for the rest of my life.