Giant

Welp, we had a Covid Exposure around here.

We had a small group of family gather for the holiday. Our protocol was for everyone to test daily before gathering, keep CR boxes running in the space, and have vent fans on and windows cracked. Everyone in this group agreed that in the weeks leading up, they would wear an N95 minimum while inside anywhere people are or have been, so these precautions seemed sufficient.

As it turns out, several of our old folks had been convinced *by their health care providers* that a surgical mask was sufficient protection from Covid. These are high-risk people with lots of co-morbidities. One of these guys just popped positive today.

I'm irritated that my people changed the plan without telling me, but I really feel they've been fooled. I'm particularly angry that Covid has been framed as an individual problem. This is about community. Whether you get and spread Covid affects the community. Had a mild case? Who gives a shit. You very well may have given it to someone who died of it, and who you never spoke to nor will ever see again. We are all responsible.

#CovidIsNotOver

Nov 26, 2022 at 8:20pmWeb
Show threadJust IceNov 26, 2022
@giantrectangle Well said ...
#CovidIsNotOver
Show threadJustine KirbyNov 26, 2022
@Justice30 @giantrectangle I’m so sorry that this happened. It’s astonishing that healthcare providers can say something so stupid. I can’t get my head around why so many healthcare providers wear baggy blues themselves. Of all people, they should understand the differences between masks and want to wear N95s.
Show threadGiantNov 26, 2022
@justinekirby @Justice30 mind-blowing, right? It’s surreal
Show threada1Nov 28, 2022
@justinekirby @Justice30 @giantrectangle I find FFP3 masks to be much better for breathing than some flimsy folded moltenblue tissue.
Show threadGiantNov 28, 2022
@ar1 @justinekirby @Justice30 I favor an elastomeric myself, but yes. As you say. Way more comfortable and breathable. Surgical masks are worse than useless. People should be wearing FFP3 / N95 minimum
Show threadLes LoreNov 30, 2022

@giantrectangle @ar1 @justinekirby @Justice30 Agreed. I use a GVS SPR644 P100 - source control [no exhaust valve] & feel that fit & breathability are superior

although it has a lower profile than cannister-type elastomerics it is still a little obtrusive visually for others to look at. so I try to hide it with a black Vitacore CAN99

I think @Barryhunt008 has a black mask with replaceable filter coming to market soon that will tick many boxes...

Show threadGiantNov 30, 2022

@leslore @ar1 @justinekirby @Justice30 @Barryhunt008 Yep, I've got one of these. I don't find it comfortable though. The fit isn't good for my face shape. I suspect I'd fail a fit test in it. It's a good product, though, provided it fits you well.

I use a 3M 6000. It looks pretty major, and I love it. I feel it sends a very strong signal in support of masking to everyone who sees me

Show threadJust Your Luck, You'll SurviveNov 26, 2022

@giantrectangle
AAGH I'm so sorry this happened.

It's so frustrating that no matter what precautions you go through and organize a group (whom you should be able to trust, family FFS!) to go through, you can't. You can't control nor trust anyone else's risk assessments and actions. Except hopefully your partner if you live with someone, but man I've seen so many older couples out where one is wearing a mask and the other isn't. Breaks my brain.

Show threadGiantNov 26, 2022

@justyourluck yep, I’m very fortunate my parter’s on the team. I really feel for folks doing this alone, or worse, living with someone working against them. That seams really rough.

But when we’ve got their doctors telling them a baggy blue is fine, and the CDC saying washing your hands will stop COVID, how am I supposed to compete with that. I can’t really blame them for not believing me. The misinfo is too strong

Show threadJust Your Luck, You'll SurviveNov 26, 2022
@giantrectangle It really is. And unfortunately the understanding comes too late, after they've been infected.
Show threadYankee doodleNov 26, 2022
@giantrectangle I work in many homes daily with the general public. I couldn’t agree with you more with your blog. I’ve been told cause I’ve been vaccinated, two years to live. Some people are so selfish even if they knew they caused someone to die, they just wouldn’t care. I had a nice conversation with my wealthiest customer that told me my death sentence. Common sense from myself had raised his eyebrows.
Show threadXabier OstaleNov 27, 2022
@giantrectangle I'm afraid that there are not such a thing as mild cases, in the long run. What's happening to children is a very concerning issue regarding immune systems damage after sars2 infection.
Show threadNathanael NerodeNov 27, 2022

@giantrectangle

If someone had changed the safety precautions without telling me, I'd cut them out of my life entirely. That's assault.

It's sad but not surprising that they got the disinformation from a doctor; most doctors are mass superspreaders. Doctors infected my partner twice. They're unscientific ignoramuses. Not all, obviously, but most.

Show threadGiantNov 27, 2022

@neroden I feel that, for sure. I have already cut out many people. However, it's my mom and her partner, as well as my GF's dad who had stopped masking properly. It's not malicious, and in a world where doctors, health departments, and everyone except only me are telling them the opposite of what I say, I can see that I would appear extreme and unreasonable to them. They agreed to my terms as you would to ease the mind of an eccentric: to smooth things over rather than because you really agree.

My GF's dad is the one who caught COVID. He has had 3 heart surgeries this year. My moms have heart problems as well. These are the specific people I was trying to keep safe. They were fooled. They are victims of misinformation. They, as well as everyone present, know it now. I used this teachable moment to hammer it home.

If I end up with COVID, I may have a harder time forgiving. As you say, there's a betrayal here, but my feeling at the moment is that I will opt to adjust trust levels rather than cut folks out.

Show threadNathanael NerodeDec 6, 2022

@giantrectangle

It's still malicious.

I have two people in my family who are *literally* insane; one committed involuntarily for severe hallucinations, the other repeatedly committed voluntarily. We have had to do a lot of things to smooth things over with them when we don't agree with them (because they're, well, totally insane.)

We STILL do not lie to them. Because that's not acceptable. We would never, ever tell either of them that we were going to do something and then not do it.

Show threadNathanael NerodeDec 6, 2022

@giantrectangle

It's pretty rough when you know your mother, or your girlfriend's father, outright lied to you.

It's one thing for them to stop masking -- that's misinformed.

It's another for them to tell you they are still masking and that they followed your precautions, when they weren't. That's lying and betrayal.

Show threadGiantDec 7, 2022
@neroden Yep, it's super serious, and if it were anyone else, I would cut them off instantly. Even for these very special people, it's easy to get heated and to forget that the motivations for lying can be complex (e.g., shame or similar), and are not always malicious. That's why I took some time to think before I said much to anyone, beyond what was needed for getting everyone safe. As it turns out, I'm glad I took the time and cooled down so I could talk to them. I helped them see what a close call we all had. I gave them some reading. They were interested. They asked me what they should say to some anti-maskers in some FB groups they're in. They are now fully converted. I'd be sad if I'd had to cut them off, as well as for having to watch them inevitably get and spread Covid. This is way better.
Show threadNathanael NerodeDec 7, 2022
@giantrectangle I'm impressed. I'm glad it worked.
Show threadMathew SamuelNov 27, 2022

@giantrectangle
So sorry for you. Hopefully the other measures you took will limit the blast radius.

I feel like I can't trust anyone in my family anymore. Most don't even wear masks etc, but even the well meaning don't understand getting a proper fit with their respirators.

Anecdotally, I see most older folks wearing their masks incorrectly (large gaps or surgicals). Droplet dogma.

Show threadGiantNov 27, 2022
@mathew1927 Yeah, I've been talking to these guys about mask info for years, and until this week, it seemed like they were on board. I had my perspective shifted a lot just now.
Show threadMikeDunnAuthorNov 27, 2022
@giantrectangle Typical! My aunt agreed to come to a gathering in which she knew there were vulnerable folks who were taking extra precautions, but didn't bother telling anyone until after she was there that she was no longer masking indoors while teaching.
Show threadtiana.loretNov 27, 2022
@giantrectangle I'm sorry. It's so awful people are being given such awful misinformation by healthcare professionals, no less. I hope they recover fully and swiftly.
Show threadGiantNov 27, 2022
@tia_loret thanks. I hope so too
Show threadAutistic Science PersonNov 28, 2022
@giantrectangle I asked if someone wanted some N95 masks that I had on hand. They passed and said they get medical masks at the hospital. I asked again. They said no. I've already gotten on my soapbox once so I didn't push it. I'm going to be absurdly frustrated if immunocompromised relatives get covid because of the recklessness of medical providers and government messaging in general. I'm also mad that even when told how covid works they don't seem to care about their own lives.
Show threadAutistic Science PersonNov 28, 2022
@giantrectangle It's exhausting to know there's an easy solution to prevent someone from dying but the person refuses to take it. Pisses me off. Even when I directly say "I'd really prefer you don't die." People don't value their own lives anymore and I hate it so much.
Show threadGiantNov 28, 2022
@AutSciPerson Sadly, since this is a long-term project with these risks repeating over and over across an open-ended timeframe, too many of these hypotheticals will come to pass eventually. I'm mad, and I'm getting ready to be absurdly frustrated.