@BadBoyEmbryCall When he told me how he found #TheKid, my bucket of sins grew. I knew I should have been there for my younger brother. The fear he must have felt in the moments that followed when he didn’t know what took place, just that it had been our mothers blood that had been spilt.

-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

“I know…” I gave in because that was Embry. He was the one that always stayed with all the pups and the pack. I didn’t have a bone in my body that could be still long enough. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Not as he did. And He was a calming influence too. No matter the reason the pack were in this place, or anywhere. Embry Call somehow knew how to show them a light and the silver lining.

He came to stand before me, and I saw how his fingers twitched. And without the words needed, I knew what he wanted to do, and knew he wouldn’t too.

I rubbed my temples with my index and second finger. I wanted to tell Embry, that I may not know Joe Walker, but I knew men like him -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

very well That it may seem like he wanted nothing for these things, but someday He would ask for his pound of flesh. And I wouldn’t be able to stand back and let that happen. But now wasn’t the time.

I stepped back to the table the bag of food sat on and slowly and carefully started to remove everything from inside. A mix of a few sandwiches, some bags of chips. A few slices of pies and cake. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall - Really the as a meal it made no sense, it had been what my hands reached for when my heart and mind were elsewhere.

“Will you eat something now?” I asked him over my shoulder. “I know it’s not home cooked, and if Ma wakes up she will have a million reasons why we shouldn’t eat any of this.” I heard the footsteps of #TheKid coming back, and knew he could hear us. “But it’s something, right?” I threw a bag of chips over my head knowing that he would catch them.

@HotHeadSheWolf
I knew that she was punishing herself. but I couldn't do anything about that right now... maybe not at all. But I could try, when the time was right.

"He did really well... he froze for a second, but instead of giving in to it... he asked for help. He did you proud." I smiled.

I smiled when she asked if I would eat... it wasn't that I hadn't eaten... anytime one of us left the room we came back with something... but her haul was far better than the vending machine fodder >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< that we had settled for.

"Hell yeah, I will," I said with as much enthusiasm possible while still keeping my voice down. "Pie!!!" I whispered-screamed when the slices started to appear from the bag then, I had the lid flipped open on a slice of pie and a bamboo forkful shovelled into my mouth before I could reply.

"This..." I pointed the ridiculously tiny fork at the spread. "Is everything."

"We'll make the kid eat and I'll convince him to go home. He can stay at The >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< Sanctuary." I said this knowing that he would hear me. I gave her a look that said so many things that I couldn't say with the world's most sensitive ears so close by. 'Will you be okay here?' 'I can leave him with #Quil and come back.' I knew she would say no. 'I'll just be a text message away.' 'I really don't want to leave here without hugging you or something similar that will piss the fuck off.'

'You know I heard you talking about me right?' #Seth snatched the bag out >

@HotHeadSheWolf < the air and smirked.

"Good." I turned to face him; shovelling in another tiny bite of pie and spoke with food in my mouth. "Because it's happening. You can take my bed... just this once."

'Thank you... But I think I should stay. Just in case, and you know Leah won't leave either.' He insisted.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

I rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand and turned away from Embry the moment I heard the kid’s hand on the door.

I heard his unsaid words, but I couldn’t. Not right now. I couldn’t deal with it.

When I turned back my eyes rolled at the sight of Embry’s big hands with that small fork in his hands. “Spirits.”

I rolled my eyes again smacking the kid upside the head to keep his voice low, ma shifted and winced in her sleep. And my heart stopped and it stung to see it-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

To see the pain on her face.

“Listen kid, Mac and Charlie have close up, however we need to make sure someone it there for the delivery. We both know Mac will step up. But we won’t do that to him.”

He was about to speak. “Also we cannot have the three of us missing runs. I know Sam, Paul, Jay, Quil will all step up with Jake. But again. We have a duty to the pups and the packs too. Clearwaters will not back down.”

His face changed from the son of a mother, to a -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Brother of a pack.

‘What about you?’ He took the pie and the fork I handed him.

“What about me, I got this. And you will come once your run is over and then I will take over. We got this Kid.”

He was frowning. When I looked to Embry and then back to him. “You did Ma proud today. We got to keep it up. Go with Call. Get some rest. I got this from here.”

I believed in that for now. Even if I kept telling myself that she shouldn’t have been left to do this to herself.

@HotHeadSheWolf
My eyes moved between the siblings. After seeing that #Sue had settled I buried the pang in my chest... It was an all too familiar feeling.

"I can rope one of the pups into helping with the delivery before my run tomorrow if you'd like. #MAc can do the business end and we can do the heavy lifting." I offered.

"As for runs... we can cover it so you two can be with your Mom for a few days. She'll need help at home and you guys will need to take turns at the bar."

I could see >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< the pride on his face. but it quickly flooded with self-doubt and I resisted the urge to shake the kid. I could talk to him later.

'You need to sleep too, sis. I'll come back in the morning and promise you'll go from and rest?' He was resigned to the fact that she was going to make sure that he got home.

I wanted to insist that Leah sleep too.. but I knew it would be days before that happened. And it wasn't like I could have that conversation with her right now. I >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< Finished the pie and tossed the plastic box into the trash can in the corner, careful not to let the lid slam when I lifted my foot off the pedal.

"Okay come on kid." I pulled out my phone. I'll get Quil to set up the sofa bed for you." I said and started to type.

'Thanks, bro' but I think I really just want to head home.' He was trying to do the independent thing... but he was independent. He had nothing to prove.

"Cool." I said without missing a beat. "I'll sleep on the >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< couch." His jaw twitched to protest and before he spoke. I continue. "Fine, you can sleep on the couch. I'm not gonna turn down a bed when it's on offer." I rested my hand on his shoulder. "One night Pup... just indulge me?" I raised my brows and grinned. #Seth huffed but that smile of his showed through and I knew it was a yes. I winked at Leah... not a flirtatious wink. My normal 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂 𝑜𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 wink and it went to say goodbye to #Sue.

I touched her >

@HotHeadSheWolf
<Forehead lightly and whispered. "Goodnight beautiful." I smiled as she stirred from her light doze. "I'll come to check on you tomorrow."

'Don't worry about me, sweetheart. I'll be just fine.' She said softly.

"Oh, I know. you are tough as nails. But I will just be a wreck if I don't see for myself." I grinned.

"Oh, you really do have your Father's charm.' she patted my cheek and I repressed my flinch. It was the painkillers. That was all. #Sue would never...

I kissed >

@BadBoyEmbryCall

Now it was my turned to watch the exchange between my kid brother and Embry. It wasn’t unseen, and it wasn’t like we didn’t know how Embry worked his magic. It was more the fact that he took the time to make the other person think they had a say in what was happening. When I knew the truth. This used to be one of those things that I used to roll my eyes at. When I saw him playing someone. But now, now that I’d let him in and seen his full view too. I knew there was no 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -
, about it. This was his way to help others.

I didn’t know how I would repay him. I hadn’t expected any of this from him. But this was him... This was 𝔼𝕞𝕓𝕣𝕪 ℂ𝕒𝕝𝕝 in his heart and soul.

I arched my eyebrow at him when he gave me that wink, and #TheKid whispered. ‘He still has a death wish, at least he is in the hospital’

I stepped back and whispered to #TheKid when Embry went to say night to Ma. “Don’t you let him take your bed.” Nudging him in the side.

-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

‘Ma, would kill me if I didn’t.’ he nudged right back with a half-smile. He reached out, squeezing a few fingers on the hand closest to him. and I knew what he was trying to do and say to me. I did it right back.

We both watched him and Ma whisper, however it had been a clear conversation to our ears. We both stilled and stiffened. I wanted to reach out and squeeze Embry on the shoulder, tell him that Ma didn’t mean it. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

That it had to be the meds talking. She would never hurt him in that way. But #TheKid did it with one look.

My eyes found Embry’s, wanting him to know that this all. It meant a lot. That I didn’t even have to ask. He had just been here. And I knew that all of this, seeing Ma this way. It would be testing him too. I knew how I felt when I spent time with #MsC in this place.

“Okay, that’s enough. Get out so Ma and I can have our sleepover.” -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

I stepped backwards and pulled the door open for them both to leave.

@HotHeadSheWolf

I heard the two of them whispering and grinned. I wasn't going to take the kid's bed... not tonight at least. Any other time, I probably would.

There was a lot unsaid in Leah's eyes and I smiled at her. I knew most of my friend's parents knew who my father was, or at least had their own ideas of who he was. But I didn't want to know... If mom chose to tell me then I would hear her.

I stood next to Leah while #Seth said goodbye. I was close enough to let my arm brush hers >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< for the briefest moment.

It wasn't for her benefit, it was for mine... It was quick𝕀'𝕞 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖; even though I was leaving, I wasn't going far.

#Seth came to the door with us and before I could he said 'Text if you need anything.' And gave her a look that said he meant it.

"And Jake said he can come if you need anything, too." I knew she wasn't going to call anyone. And normally this wasn't a shock, but there was a worry building. Because this >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< wasn't work stuff or pack stuff... it was #Sue... and I alone in this... Like was for everything hated to think of her being alone in this like she was with everything else.

Because we had let her down.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

Just they were leaving a nurse started towards Ma’s room. ‘It time to go, Mrs Clearwater needs her rest.’ She wasn’t rude about it, and I knew she was just looking out for Ma.

‘Sorry, we are just leaving.’ #TheKid gave me and then Ma one last look before heading out.

My eyes found Embry for a second. There wasn’t anything I could do to tell him how much this meant. That I knew my kid was in good hands. And that… he had known it all.

As the sport closes the nurse -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Started to adjust Ma. “Here let me help you there.” I told her, going to stand beside the bed, I curled my arms around Ma and slowly lifted her, making it look like it was a team effort. So, that she didn’t question how I did it.

‘He is such a good boy.’ Ma said.

“Yes Ma, Seth is a good boy.” I whispered back kissing her forehead.

‘He is… but I meant Embry.’ She sleepy whispered before curling up the best she could and fell asleep.

“You mom is a little lost on the -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Pain meds.’ She told me. Then felt.

I pulled the chair close to the bed, the door opened and the nurse was back.

‘I brought you a pillow and a blanket. Just in case.’ She set them to the side and then it was just Ma and I.

@HotHeadSheWolf
When #Seth spoke to the nurse I caught Leah's eyes. 𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕧𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 I hoped my eyes told her. Then they flicked to Seth and back. 𝕀'𝕧𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 I hoped the said now.

It was strange how it felt to leave her in that room. I knew she didn't need me there... but maybe she could want me there? I shook away that thought because, no... she would want me with my mom looking after her... working or with the pack... anything but hanging out in a hospital room just to keep her company. >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< Did I want her to want me there? would that be a bad thing? But all of it, it was all new and strange and oddly welcome. All the contradictions and mixed emotions seemed to all fit together somehow, wrapped up neatly the idea that looking out for #seth is what those two strong-willed, completely different and utterly similar women we had left back would want me to do right now. If they ever needed anything from me, it was this.

'Dude you're miles away... what are you >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< are you thinking?' #Seth gave a half-hearted chuckle and I only realised that we were in the lift when we stopped walking.

"Oh... Just don't like the idea of Leah being left here alone when your Mom will be out like a light all night." I offered, not a lie.

'That's how she likes it.' I could hear the frustration in his voice, he loved his sister deeply, but I knew he felt like she kept him at a distance sometimes.

"Being alone isn't the same as being lonely, Seth." I >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< said the same thing to him that I had to his sister before.

'I know... But how can we know which when she is if she never shares how she feels?' He was so calm when he said it. It cracked my heart a little. It would have been less heartbreaking if he was pissed off. But this was a deep-rooted concern.

"Ask her." I said simply, my eyes fixed on his side profile as he stared at the crack of the door and laughed. 'Yeah right.' He scoffed, not taking me seriously.

"I mean it >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< Seth." We stepped out and made our way across the nearly empty waiting area to the door.

"Just talk to her, ask her how she feels how she really feels." I continued.

'Like walk right up to her and say, 𝐻𝑒𝓎 𝓈𝒾𝓈, 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓁𝓎?" He laughed like it sounded ridiculous... and it kind of did but...

"In exactly those words if you want to... Leah appreciates directness." I stuffed the key into the lock of my Jeep and we claimed in. I could tell he wanted to defend against my >

@BadBoyEmbryCall

I sat there watching Ma sleeping now, counting the number of times her chest went up and then came down. Making sure that the monitors weren’t giving the wrong data to the nurse when they came in from time to time to check on her.

They would tell me to sleep, to close my eyes. That Ma wouldn’t be awake until the morning with all the meds pumped into her. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

And yet I couldn’t. My mind kept telling me that she may need me, that she was in pain, or that I couldn’t just sleep when I should have stopped this from happening I the first place.
Finally, I stood up and walked to the windows. Wishing that I could open them needing to feel the touch of the air, the one that say, ‘You aren’t alone.’ Listening to the whispers of the spirits saying that it would all be okay. But tonight, there was silent and the beeping of the monitors.
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

I rubbed my face; I blinked away the unsure feelings taking a hold of me. I pulled my hair up into a bun and then took out my phone. Sending one short message to Embry.

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 -𝙻

I knew he would understand the meaning. It was hard for me to leave today, but if I hadn’t, I wasn’t sure what or how I would have managed to hold it together. Not with Ma this way. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

And even the fact that I was so weak that I needed to leave was filling the balance of my bucket of sins. I should have been stronger.

A light knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. And when I saw #Pauls head pop in and then his smiled I looked confused.

‘Hey.’ He whispered for the first time ever.

“Hey” I whispered back.

-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

‘Thought you could use some company.’ He was inside, with a box of pizza and a six pack of soda. ‘I know you aren’t all that keen on soda, but tonight I have a feeling all the sugar in the world would help.’ Setting the box and the cans on the side, he went to Ma’s side and kissed her head. ‘You will be fine Aunt. You have to be. OR who is going to control your Hot Head?’ He kissed her head again, and the back of my eyes prickled.

-