As the wind blew in my hair and I turned the wrong way I heard #Seth’s voice on the air saying ‘where is she heading to at this time.’
It made me smack when #Mac said they should plan on getting his arse handed to him in the dead of night by following.
And i kicked up a gear. The roads were silent of people. But Mother Nature and the spirits never slept, the sang to me as I slowed when I reached my first drive by.
I checked the house out, the lights were out and there -
Was no sound around. #MsC would have been fast a asleep by now. Riding off when I was happy. The next house wasn’t far to go and this time I stopped.
Ma’s house was silent too. Lights out and the world was calm. I sat there on my bike, looking at the roses on my Da’s climber. He had cared for that thing like it was a third child.
Is that #Quil and Embry were doing with the pack and the imprints? They had stepped up and adopted them into the safety of their home?
@HotHeadSheWolf
'Bry?' The pup stopped me in my tracks before I closed the door. 'Momma T is gonna okay isn't she?' His use of the nickname the all the pup's in #Jake's pack used from hearing in #Jake and #Quil's mind for all these years.
I sighed. I really messed tonight with Jake. "Yeah kid... she's going to be fine." I offered him the best smile I could muster. "It was just had a weak moment... but that's what the pack is for. We pick each other when we stumble."
The kid nodded and >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< pulled out the bed section of the couch and I pulled my door shut. I dragged my hand through my hair. I needed to make this right with kids.
I know that #Jake and I will be fine, we were long overdue for a talk anyway. But the pups... I grabbed my headphones and flopped down onto my bed... sleep wasn't going to me friend tonight.
Placing my keys on the bowl beside the front door, I kicked out of my boots and then shrugged out of my jacket hanging it up. The lamps in my house were on timer, so that I never walked into the dark. It was something Ma had told me once.
‘Never leave your house in the darkness, because when you return. You want your home to me the light that bring you back to you.’
She was right, back then I was surrounded by the dark. So, a few lamps lighting my path when I came home -
had become my line of peace.
Normally at this time I would have hit the shower right away. But instead I went to open my windows. Letting the night in and letting the spirits know that I was open to them always.
MsC and Ma… were on my mind now. And as much as I didn’t want to think about it. Calls words to #Jake had hit somewhere.
“She will be fine…. We will made sure of it.” I told myself, sending it on the air as a prayer too.
@HotHeadSheWolf
I plugged my headphones into my phone. Looked at a few of the videos the pups put into the group chat for the guys that were on patrol and couldn't be here tonight. I was weird watching myself play... but hearing myself sing?
That was weird... So I skipped the watch the others. #Tony and #Ness were amazing. I heard #Quil leaving the bathroom and I went to wash up and brush my teeth. I didn't want to keep the pups awake by showering so I'd do that in the morning. By the time I >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< was done #Quil's heavy breathing told me he was asleep already and the pups were still muttering about a girl one of them was chatting to at the bar.
When I back in my room sprawled over the bed with my headphones in and Lewis Capaldi playing in my ears I tried to beat back the thoughts that kept me from sleep,
Taking my phone out I scrolled my playlist, finding the song and hitting play.
The song had been stuck in my head all night, I’d even been humming it to my wolf as we watched the pups play their games on the Xbox.
Throwing the phone on the bed, I pulled my hair up into a messy bun I went to the bathroom to face up and brush my teeth.
Humming along as I finished up changing into a sleeping shirt, I moved to pulled my covers down. -
The window was still open, and when my gaze went out the sound of rain became the backing track for the music.
The air had been cool before, but now it was fresh too. So, as I climbed into bed, my eyes still on the open window. The sound of the music ending as I lay there in the dark. The day had come to its close. And it had exceeded my expectations ten fold.
@HotHeadSheWolf
I was restless.... the ten minutes had felt like an hour. And this wasn't one of my usual exaggerations. I sat on the end of my bed My thumb and forefinger running back and forward of my shut lids like I was trying to wipe the numbers on my screen out of my mind.
Why? did I do this? I told #Tony I didn't want to know. Why didn't I stick to my guns?
I tossed my phone onto a pile on clothes only floor... staring at my closet door. Sure... after everything that Leah had done, >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< we weren't in dire need of that money... yet. But that was so many mortgage payments... so many prescriptions and bills paid. Maybe even a place to stay in Seattle if #Carlisle got Mom into a trail.
"Please tell me what to do." I whispered tilting my head up, pleading to my grandfather's spirit.
One squeeze of that invisible hand on my shoulder had me pulling on clean clothes and grabbing my grandmother's guitar. That today... was worth at least four thousand >
My phone was in my hands again now, opening the group messages I started to watch the videos the pups who came to #HwH tonight had taken for those who had missed out.
#Ness was so like her dad, when it came to playing. She lost herself in the moment just as he did.
And then there was #Tony. The guy had really blown everyone away. The day I had seen the other YouTube video of him playing didn’t live up to how he sounded live.
#Sumina, she was a dark horse. So lost and -
unsure of yourself, but when she too found her moment. It was amazing.
My fingers hovered over the video of Call, who knew losing a bet with me would be the reason for him to step up and show something he didn’t share before. I hit play and watched.
@HotHeadSheWolf
I just walked, I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew I was going the right way. The slightly discolored from age, white rigid guitar case in one hand. The other was restless dragging through my too long hair and over my face, shove it in and out of my pockets. All while Picture This played into my ear through my head phones.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=IKrq8Jv0yQE&feature=share
My mind reeling. I didn’t know what the right thing to do was? The money could do so much… >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< I knew Nana and Grandad would do anything to help mom get better. I knew my Grandad would want me to do everything in my power to help mom get better. But this? I exhaled heavily and suddenly became aware that I was standing and the end of the path leading up to Leah’s door.
I chuckled and tilted my head up and laughed. “Are you kidding me?” I whispered. And the song changed. Three notes in and I was lost again remember the moment I sang to Leah at the Sanctuary. I took >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< the hint and dares to knocked lightly on her door. I was about to get my arse handed to me.
Watching the pups playing and singing has my lips curled up into a smile. ( Something they wouldn’t see. )
People who had a pull towards the arts, they had this look in their eyes, the way they become lost in the moment. And to see the pups in that trance was the reason for the smile.
When I set my phone on change on the side table, I played with my pillow but before I could settle my head down. The whispering on the breeze picked up.
“I’m listening.” I whispered back -
They weren’t the normal sounds the spirits sang to me before I joined them in their realm. There was a heaviness to this. It sat on my chest, my heart filled with an anxious feeling that wasn’t there before.
I pushed the sheet back and climbed out of my bed. My feet taking me to my window I looked out over my back yard and into the forest behind.
“Tell me…” I asked them, I closed me eyes and listened intently. But it wasn’t the spirits who answered.
I could heard a -
hum of music? Who was listening to music at this time of night? But it was muffled to my ears.
The breeze picked up blowing into my face bringing with it a familia scent.
“What….” Turning my head towards my bedroom door, I frowned. But before I knew it, my feet took me out my room and through my house. Darkness filled the night as I unlocked my door, and there he was.
“Did you lose your—” I stopped short taking in the view before me. The way he head the guitar case -
In his hands. That heavy feeling amplified on my chest.
@HotHeadSheWolf
I stuffed my headphones into my pocket but the music still whispered out of them. Not that anyone but Me and probably Leah could hear as she made her way to the door.
My teeth worried my lower lip when Leah pulled her door open. Her eyes were dark... And I was ready for her to pissed that I was her door AGAIN... and at this hour of the night.
But the wasn't anger. My dark brown gazed searched hers. Worry? And pain?
"I'm sorry for showing up like this..." The muffled song >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< playing in my pocket changed.
"I... um..." My stomach was twisting and not because I was about to have my arse kicked. I need to ask you... no not ask..." This wasn't a favour I was asking for... this was something I needed, if she said no I had no idea what I would do. But I led her for a reason, she wouldn't turn me away. "I need you to do something for me."
Eyes narrowing I stood there looking down at him. Why was he here stood on my doorstep? The question repeated again. But I couldn’t ask or say anything.
The pressure on my chest grew, mixed with uncertainty, worry and… fear? The whispers stopped the moment I opened the door. It was like the spirits had pushed me to stand here, and now had abandoned me. ( It wouldn’t be the first time. )
I was about to tell him to spit it out. He was never shy with words. But again my words-
Lodged in my throat.
“Do something?” I raised my eyebrow.
Remembering we were stood outside, in the middle of the night. Even if only we could hear it, the music playing in his pocket. Words that filled the air between us.
If he needed something, if he came to my door. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t close the door in his face.
Taking a step back into my house. “You best come in.” I told him.
Not waiting I walked into my house, turning a lamp on.
@HotHeadSheWolf
I took a deep breath and stepped inside, my hand dragging through my hair. That phantom hand disappeared when I shut the door behind me.
I followed her into the living room and counted the numbers I’d shown up here unannounced lately. I fished my phone of my pocket and unplugged the headphones, stopping the music.
I didn’t make small talk…. It was far too late for that and Leah appreciated people that didn’t beat around the bush. “Do your remember when #Tony was trying to >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< tell me something about the about My Grandmother’s guitar?”
I held my phone out to Leah open to the browser where I’d searched for the value of it and the auction was still a little Over four thousand dollars.
“I need you to hold onto this for me… at least for now…” I knew Leah wouldn’t let me sell this unless all other options were exhausted if another financial crisis arose.
Turning to face him, my chest still felt like a rock the size of the Grand Canyon was sat upon it.
I flexed my hands stopping them to moving up to rub. I wasn’t in the habit of showing others what the Spirits did to me at time like this.
“Tony? Hmm… Yeah.” What was this about? And then realisation dawned on me a moment before he held out his phone.
At first I stood there, watching and taking him in. Then the case in his hands. Noticing how he held it.
Taking a few -
steps towards him, I took the phone and raising my eyebrow.
“Call…” shaking my head at him with a slow deep breath. Keeping my eyes on the phone, and the value it showed a moment too long.
“I thought you said you didn’t want to know. Why this then?” I held the device towards him.
But it hit me… I was questioning him? I… me… Leah Clearwater… someone who never asked questions… was asking questions now?
@HotHeadSheWolf
I sighed and dragged my hand through my hair. "I couldn't sleep... and I got curious. I figured it would be a few hundred dollars, you know... But that..." I trailed off and shrugged. I set the case on the armchair in her living room and stepped back like I didn't trust myself with it.
"I mean things are ok right now... but I can't stop thinking about what we could do with that money." I tried to catch her gaze keeping them trained on my phone. "But... I can't... I... if you >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< have it here, then I know you won't let me sell it until we've exhausted every option."
After the way I behaved with #Jacob tonight, I didn't trust myself not the act on the spur of the moment when things got rocky again.
“You know what happened to the curious, don’t you?”
I set his phone down on the coffee table, the weight on my chest wasn’t budging at all. I tried to take a few deep breaths, but it didn’t help me. So, I stepped between him and my armchair, flipping the clips to the case and opening it. I stood back, my eyes on the white guitar with the dove on it. It was so beautiful, but more so it was the meaning it held. -
To others it was just a guitar, but to the Call’s it was a memory of a person who was the matriarch of their family.
When what he was saying sunk in, I spun to face him. Narrowing my eyes as I really took him in. “ 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮?” He couldn’t be saying what I thought he was. “Wait… Are you talking about selling Chenoa’s guitar?”
Now I placed myself between him and the armchair. There was no way he was saying that. Right? I must be misunderstanding him. I had to be.
@HotHeadSheWolf
"If you sure curiosity killed the wolf..." I chuckled and shook my head. I watched her open the case and the way her eyes softened as she took it in.
But hearing those words... hearing my grandmothers name in that sentence... It chipped away a piece of my heart. "No..." I answered too fast. "I mean not yet... Maybe... if a time comes and I have no other choice."
I stuffed my hands into my pocket. "I mean she'd understand, right?... if I had to?... if it was for Mom?" I >
“Forget about anything else killing you…”
My hands were fisted now and I was seeing red. What in the name of all the Spirits was wrong with him? How could he always get me so mad one minute, and stop me from reacting in another?
I didn’t know it happened until it was done, my left hand came out and over. The fist in place as it Swung in the air and connected with his jaw. The shock of the hit vibrated up my arm all the way to my shoulder. Hitting another Spirit Warrior -
wasn’t like hitting a pillow. It was more like punching a brick wall coated in titanium.
“Fuck!” My fingers smarter from the after shock and i flexed them.
“Don’t you dare even think about selling your Nana’s guitar Embry Call!”
Grating the words out of a clinch jaw. “Would Mrs Call understand? Yes she fucking would…. But would Ms C? Would she be able to deal with you doing that? Fuck! Would you?”
@HotHeadSheWolf
I watched her temper rise in her eyes, and I wonder if maybe part of that was to do with my behaviour with #Jake at the bar tonight. Then showing up at this hour asking for... probably a stupid favour. But...
My eyes had been so trained on her that I didn't see the shift in her until the punch landed, whipping my head to the side with a loud grunt. I felt a shockwave of the echo through my ears. "What the Fuck!!" I snapped my head back to but she was raging at me.
Yelling >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< All the things I wanted to yell at myself for even considering this option. Her jaw was set in a furious expression, and I noticed she'd left her windows open... like she always did.
I took her by her arm and tugged her the few steps towards the window... knowing the action could be the death of me. I turned her to where the cool breeze come into her home and stood behind her, my hand clamped firmly on her shoulders, enough that could shake herself free if she really >
“GET YOUR HANDS—“ my words cut short, the red still pulsing in my eyes when my wolf came too.
‘Leah…. stop!!’ She pleaded with me. ‘This is not you…. Stop….’ She flashed the image of the boxing ring in my head, and then this. Me stood here in my house, my safe place. With Call stood before me.
“Fuck!” The tremor in my shoulders had started to rumble down my spine when he stood me facing out the window. The spirits had stopped singing, not a hum in the air. It was like -
they were holding their breath. Waiting. Watching.
“I… am… breathing…” again I said it through gritted teeth. He came to me to stop him from doing something stupid?
“You though of me… when thinking about selling something that belonged to your nana? Me? Really? I was your only hope here?” It came out with half a not so funny laugh.
“Do you know me?” My hands clasped onto the windowsill tight, I have to remind myself not to break it. “Do you know what family means to me?”
@HotHeadSheWolf
When I felt her take in a few breaths I pulled my hands away... she knew I was nothing like the idiots that thought they could put their hands all over and that she should feel lucky for having their attention. But still... knew she didn't want me to touch her right now... Or at all really. Other than training.
"Yes, Leah... I know you. I know that you are probably the only person that would understand what this guitar means to me. And I know that knowing you have this >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< means I'll come to you if things get bad again."
She knew what it was like. She watched her Mom struggle after her Dad died. "I knew that you would understand what it was like to watch mom struggle and have the only you could do to help was something that broke your heart to do." My chest got and the breeze for the open blew the scent of her shampoo past my nose. "I knew you'd knock some sense into me." I gave a small laugh but there was little humour in it.
When he let go and stepped back, I could breath again. Having him in my space had been uneasy. Not because I thought he would do anything. ( I was more then capable of handling him and anyone else. ) But because I was used to having the space.
My hand still smarted, taking a couple of steps back from the window I let my head fall down between my outstretched arms. Counting myself down.
I could hear him behind me. “You know what…” I closed my eyes tight, thinking this time-
Before speaking. Standing up right I turned to face him. Rubbing my good hand over my eyes.
“You’re so intelligent at times, you read the moment and know the right words to use. But… this…” pointing over to the guitar. “You realise what you are saying here right? If I don’t have the guitar… you aren’t going to tell me if you are in trouble? Did you learn nothing from what just happened?”
Was it my anger feeding my behaviour? Spirits Yeah… was I sorry? Fuck No!
I took another few steps back and sank down into her couch... She had a good point there. I knew now that could go to her. Even if it did worry me that she might go back to that underground fight club to earn quick cash. I rest my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
But, why then? Why had I ended up here?
“No... That's not it. I mean I know I could come to you... Honestly, I just started to walk. I didn't really have a destination in mind... And I ended up here.” >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< I looked up at her now. Gauging her reaction.
I knew the fight #Jake was part of it... It was what kept me awake. What I’d said to him about my Mom. Knowing that they had all heard it... Showing weakness in front of them wasn’t the problem.
They needed to that even the original packs had moments of fear and doubt, that it was okay to talk about it. But knowing I would have the hear it through their ears again and again on patrol...
“I’m sorry... I really have to stop >
My throat worked but no words were there, my front twisted with a deep frown.
‘He came to you, and didn’t put the guitar up for sale. Maybe.. this is his way to say 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘔𝘦?’ My wolf whispered to me and then she sat back.
She wouldn’t sleep, not now, and not after the fact that I had punched Call in the face.
‘That… I get it.’ She said frowning at Call too. Which would have made me laugh any other day, the two of us agreeing on a violent move when she always talked -
about how my fist shouldn’t be my go to. But tonight…
“That’s your take away here? To apologise about showing up at my door?” I threw my hands up in the air. “Embry Fucking Call….” It was a growl.
I walked past him, kicking his long legs as I passed him to go in the kitchen. Grabbing a bag of peas, and a bag of ice from the freezer. I knew they would be water in minutes but still.
Returning I threw the ice at his head. “What were you thinking about before you left?” -
Falling into the couch, I lent forward my elbows on my knees and covered my knuckles with the peas.
@HotHeadSheWolf
It was really starting to feel like every instinct I had was wrong. I rubbed my hand against my jaw when she left the room to tend to her sore knuckles. It had been a long time since I had been hit that hard. And Leah threw a hell of a left hook.
I hunched over with my elbows still on my knees and my eyes on my feet. I shrugged at her question. “I was just thinking about what my grandfather would do in my situation. And I just walked... He always said that there's a >
@HotHeadSheWolf
< difference between pride and hubris. A truly confident man will ask for help when he needs it.”
My eyes flicked over to the frozen peas draped over her knuckles and winced at the flashback of unwinding the bloodied tape from her hands in Seattle. My gaze trailed up along her arms and to her face, where wiped the blood of a sorry excuse of a man that was splattered there.
“I failed that test too many times. I didn't want to let him down again.” my words were beginning to >
Picking up the bag of ice from beside me with my good hand, I pushed it into his jaw. “Hold it there…. Don’t let it drip on my rug!” My voice still full of anger, but I was controlling myself better now.
“There is no such thing at failing, not if you are learning from the mistakes you are making.”
I moved the peas over when I felt them warming.
“Why tonight of all nights… the night you used her guitar to give you strength… would you even let yourself consider selling it-
for money of all things? Don’t you trust that I… we… the pack… Ma… we all have your back? If times come to be bad… we would work it out.”
I wasn’t going to remind him of the money I won from my last fight. That had been a mad weekend.
“Your grandpa had the right idea, advice..” My eyes went to the guitar on my armchair.
‘He brought it here.. he brought it to you to keep safe.’ She whispered.
@HotHeadSheWolf
“No Leah... It's not that. I know that you would.” I rested my hand over her when she pressed the ice pack to my jaw.
“I just think it should be me the sacrifice first. And I can't stand the thought of you going back to that place again... I would never you tell you how to live your life... But I didn't want to the reason you need to do that again.” Not that the fools she fought there didn't deserve it.
I gave a small, humourless laugh... “Yeah was... He the kind of person >
The air picked up and blew its way through the windows in my living room. And I froze for a moment before slipping my hand out from under his. Leaving him to hold the ice to his jaw himself.
Shifting where I sat, I picking up the bag of peas, testing my hand and knuckles. Glad when I saw that the swelling and bruising was subsiding.
“Call…” I shook my head before looking over to the side at him. He went there. His mind was on my underground fighting for money. -
ᒪEᗩᕼ ᑕᒪEᗩᖇᗯᗩTEᖇ
Embry Call