Nettle BriarSep 9, 2019
I am simply, an opossum
boost this toot if you are unemployed or underemployed due to invisible disabilities
if you desire, comment with some of the ways you cope with stigma, guilt, or just making ends meet
Sep 8, 2019 at 6:15pmWeb
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
I work 2-4 days a week at various gigs. I rely on my parents for big financial things and my partner for housing. I struggle daily with the guilt of not being independent or productive enough. I've been trying to reframe it in my mind through both disability and anarchist perspectives but it's really hard and scary because I have to rely so much on other ppl and I've been burned before. I hate watching my cohort thrive in traditional jobs while i struggle to work 12hr weeks. I need a lot of down time and spend most of it on the internet, doing small projects, or in the garden when I can.
Show threadshowerpicklesSep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch since i started getting really bad manic episodes i haven't been able to work full time or at anywhere near the same mental load i used to be able to work. so, now i'm working about 16 hours a week selling groceries, and lucky enough to have a job that lets me spend another 10-12 hours a week just playing on the computer and occassionaly doing lil projects. it doesn't pay well (like a 10th of what i was making) but most of the time it feels good to have at least something
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@showerpickles thank you much, it's really nice just to know I'm not alone. I'm glad you have a job that you can poke around and have fun w
Show threadshowerpicklesSep 8, 2019

@glitterwitch same to you.

my family and friends are starting to at least accept what's going on. i told my aunt that i don't feel like my cognitive ability is at a level to drive safely any more, and she didn't even tell me i "just need more practice" which i'm so tired of hearing

Show threadshowerpicklesSep 8, 2019

@glitterwitch i try to take on little personal projects like cooking a new recipe, learning a new song, or even just playing through a new game or watching a new tv show

if i can succeed at little goals for myself it doesn't hurt quite as bad when i think about the successes i used to be able to achieve and now can't

Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@showerpickles šŸ’™
Show thread : Indigenous TerrorSep 8, 2019

@glitterwitch right now I've been actively trying to find a job that lets me sit when I need to. And it's amazing to me how hard it is. All that seems to be around are food jobs and I can't do those.

I live with my grandparents helping them out, So I don't have to worry about where I'm gonna sleep. But I'm so anxious

Show threadfanny Sep 8, 2019

@glitterwitch idk tbh i just donā€™t think about it anymore and maybe that makes me a little lucky. iā€™m just a contrary aries lol. but i know my art makes people happy, and it makes me happy. and my partner is incredibly supportive.

when i do feel down i just remind myself of the progress iā€™ve made, and iā€™m taking care of a tiny human! and i realize iā€™m ā€œworkingā€ more than i realize even if itā€™s not ā€œnormalā€ socially accepted work or whatever

Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@shade I'm always very proud of you for doing art and taking care of yourself and babe! anyone doing childcare or other ppl care is a big hero imo I can't even imagine such things and your babe is such a sweet one.
Show threadfanny Sep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch oh my gosh ur too sweet šŸ˜­ tbh i feel like i am incredibly lucky bc she is so chill 99.9% of the time haha but ty šŸ–¤šŸ–¤šŸ–¤
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@shade chill babes just means parents who aren't horrible and stressful which is apparently hard for folks??? too many ppl are yelling and pressuring all the time, go you!
Show threadfanny Sep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch haha for real like i wonder how many kids wouldnā€™t be hellions if their parents just treated them like people who are just....learning how to be people....?
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@shade according to wasps children are either decorations or burdens, but never actual humans, until they reach Age then are just expected to act like real ppl all of a sudden? logic.
Show threadfanny Sep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch also tbh i feel the same way toward you when you talk about being active in your community šŸ–¤
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@shade I dunno how active I really am. I go to a few meetings and like the one conference but it's pretty lonely out here and i don't get to the big city or anything very often. I try tho šŸ’™
Show threadfanny Sep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch you do what you can tho and thatā€™s what counts! totally get the lonely thing tho šŸ–¤
Show thread@[email protected]Sep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch I can't work at all, & adjusting to that over the years has been pretty awful. Have had to do a lot work on myself to deal with guilt, stigma etc, including counseling. I am incredibly privileged by having both partners in work, I live with one so have secure housing & was able to get welfare benefits. I know how lucky I am but am also constantly anxious as I could loose my benefits at any time & it's my only independent income.
Show threadCodaSep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch itā€™s helped me so much to make progress on creative pursuits that were personally important to me while Iā€™ve been out of work. Iā€™ve made some game prototypes and done a lot of drawing/painting/pixel art that i didnā€™t have time for when I was working full time, and I feel like I understand way more about both things than before I lost my job.
Show threadCodaSep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch and itā€™s been very nice to have enough free time to explore those things at a pace that works for my brain/body (which can be slow, or I can have bursts of focus and motivation, etc)
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 8, 2019
@coda that's awesome, I'm so glad you are able to pursue those interests. I have trouble sticking to my projects long term but I like to try to at least work on something creative when I can
Show threadCodaSep 8, 2019
@glitterwitch yeah. I definitely struggle with sticking to a project, too. Iā€™ve tried to be okay with making more general progress in understanding how to do the thing even if Iā€™m not making a finished product, and that can definitely be hard.
Show threadI am simply, an opossumSep 9, 2019
@coda I gotta get back to the same level of devotion to online self-study that teenage me had. that kid read so much
Show threadSiren šŸŒ™Sep 9, 2019
@glitterwitch Tachycardia, asthma, anxiety, dyslexia,ADHD, auditory processing disorder, possibly scoliosis etc.
I livestream and anything I get via donations helps me afford books, pens, and glasses. I don't have an income. Everything from toothpaste to housing I rely on my parents for and they don't have a retirement. When my dad can no longer work in a few years my mom will be cut off from health insurance and her diabetes medication. No one else in my family can work. Solarpunk and lunarpunk is how I cope. It gives me hope that there might be a future out there where my family can continue to exist and one where capitalism no longer has a stranglehold on families.
Show threadfluffy šŸ’œSep 9, 2019
@glitterwitch @noelle I was fortunate to be able to force myself through some very high-paying jobs for long enough to save up enough to have a level of passive investment income. I wish that were available to more people in the form of, like, socialized UBI or something. Even then itā€™s not enough to live off of so I got a seemingly-low-stress job at the university which turned out to be more than I can handle.
Show threadfluffy šŸ’œSep 9, 2019

@glitterwitch @noelle So Iā€™m leaving that job and in a couple days Iā€™m interviewing for a mentoring-type position at Mozilla which seems promising although Iā€™m still not confident Iā€™ll be able to keep up with it. But itā€™s worth a shot anyway.

And itā€™s still incredibly lucky for me that Iā€™m in a position where this is even a possibility.

Show threadRain DogSep 9, 2019
@glitterwitch my PTSD plays out regularly in feelings of being trapped, being stuck and treading water. All of the abuse plays out whenever I feel unsafe or judged not good enough, and friends, music, drawing and movement helps identify those messages as part of a terrifying past rather than present. But friends, music, drawing and movement are a lot harder to get to at my day job. I cope as best possible and Iā€™m looking for something more humane.
Show threadhyratelSep 9, 2019
@glitterwitch lessee, ADHD, ASD, anxiety, myopia, and all the baggage that comes along with each of those, combined with ten years of Depression Habits that I'm trying to break my way out of. it's slow going, but I can see the top of the ravine.
Show threadhyratelSep 9, 2019
@glitterwitch my terrible vision means I'm not confidently-safe to drive (and have a restriction on my license for "daytime only") which means 2/3 of jobs are inaccessible to me by car without parental help. but if you check my TL, i've been working on getting a gasbike (moped) operational for independent non-car mobility
Show threadRevenant TrevorSep 9, 2019

@glitterwitch at times i work more and harder than any of the people i know with paid jobs

but employment which brings me into contact with strangers is not possible for me because i am Extremely NonĀ­ā€‘Passing Trans, and accommodating nonĀ­ā€‘service work is both unavailable where i live and unavailable with my rĆ©sumĆ©

so all of the work i do is firmly non-monetizable

ymmv whether you consider ā€œbeing transā€ to be ā€œa disabilityā€ (or ā€œinvisibleā€) but itŹ¼s certainly debilitating in my case

Show threadTiny Tabby ToebeansSep 9, 2019

@glitterwitch I was born with scoliosis and completely deaf in one ear and partially in the other. I nearly got an eye poked out so now i have limited vision. I have brain damage and severe anxiety/chronic depression/ptsd due to trauma. I cannot stand nor sit for more than an hour at a time without severe pain.

To make due I draw an have SNAP but I can only do so much with my energy levels. I'm currently fighting for disability again after being denied the first time.