Dear helpful workers offering to help me scan at a self-checkout—I appreciate the offer, but you will never scan as fast as me, or pack my items as quickly and as well as me, because my efficiency is borne from long experience and a desperation to escape the horrors of a retail outlet as soon as is humanly possible.

#selfcheckout #selfcheckoutFTW #letrobotsdorobotjobs #retailsucks