life is strange and silly
to have been; to be
the boy she was
and the woman yet to be

#transthoughts #transthoughts #poetry

It feels like it's been mayhem since the summer - no breaks, with lots of travel and stress (work has been busier than ever) - and we've had trouble getting the kids into a good rhythm with school this year - it does feel like things are finally starting to ease up. Found time this past week for a movie night with @starkos, wrapped up a short story that's been driving me crazy for years, and learned some neat tricks at a cybersecurity event in Philly.

Strange to think that it hasn't even been a year since I came out; this time last year I was juggling life like an episode of I Love Lucy - slipping in and out of boy mode for conference calls, fighting five o'clock shadow, and stressing out about what friends and family would think. Two years ago, I was terrified to leave the house. Five years ago, I was trapped in my body and felt like I was headed for an early grave.

#transthoughts #transition #transpride #lgbtqphilly #transwoman #writer

Officially joining the ranks of people who have had their minds blown by I Saw the TV Glow.

Pure weapons grade nuclear trans horror.

I am going to be thinking about it for days. I am so, so fucking happy and thankful for transition; celebrating all my trans brothers and sisters in my heart today - those who made it and those who didn't.

There's still time.

#transgender #transthoughts #transpride #transdudes #transwomen #lgbtq #horrormovies #isawthetvglow

I went out dancing last night to one of the spots I used to go to early on in the transition process; I haven't been in a long while and it felt unfamiliar - an element of danger that I'd either ignored previously because it was one of the few places I could feel myself, or maybe I'm just not as reckless without testosterone in my system.

The music was still good, and good conversation found me, but it felt a bit like going home only to find the memory and reality of it are two very different things.

A reminder to keep moving; that the universe likes us active, engaged in exploration, and living in the present rather than the past.

#transthings #transthoughts #transwoman #transpride #journal #lgbtqphilly #selfies

I just realised a concerning idea about the transphobic rhetoric, that *"Archeologists will know you were [insert sex here] by your bones!"*, because it has the concerning implication that they expect we will experience a catastrophic breakdown of historical records, to the extent we'll have to fall back on archeology to rediscover what we lost...

#Trans #TransThoughts #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #SupportTransRights

The feeling of innate ridiculousness is biting hard today. Somehow being on a break makes overthinking, dysphoria, and imposter syndrome worse. How do you convince yourself that you're not doing anything wrong, or "asking too much of people", by presenting how you wish and asking colleagues to respect that?

#transgender #transthoughts #dysphoria

I've been thinking about this a while, but if you're someone who's fully transitioned as a trans person, wouldn't it be fun to refer to and treat that older self of you as a lost family member that died as a way of saying goodbye to that version of you? And you refer to that version of yourself as if it were another person entirely, which is true.

#trans #transgender #transthoughts

It occurs to me frequently that I was hired into my current job as a principal level software engineer working towards architect as a trans woman. With all the terrible anti trans stuff going around, it gives me hope.

However, it also makes me anxious since I need to be an example and really can't fuck this up. I guess the good part is I have to kill the imposter syndrome with fire pretty quick and never look back.

#transthoughts #beingtransintech

Not sure if this was a "sign" or not but growing up I always kinda disliked many classically "male" and masculine things, such as my body hair, my deep voice, dressing in suits and ties and by extension mens clothing generally, the way my face and skin looked compared to others (often girls)

And yet if a woman presented those qualities, say meeting someone who didn't shave and had body hair, had a deep voice, dressed masc, but was quite clearly a woman and presenting/identifying as such, I wouldn't have had any issues...

🤔 what could that have meant, younger me thought... 🤔

#trans #Transgender #transthoughts