Because I was a bored little weirdo I went over to Twitter's rotting corpse to see what kind of bullshit was going on there. Looks like Gamers™ are angry about how another woman looks in a game and like... in a weird kind of way... it helped my dysphoria.

These fuckers are just dripping in misogyny... society is dripping in misogyny... I realized that their definition of woman is literally just "airbrushed perfection I want to fuck". It has nothing to do with the typical arguments about gametes or chromosomes... they say that... but it's literally just "you're worthless if you're not fuckable". The accurate way to define *their* definition of man and woman are "fuckers" and "fuckable", and if you don't fall into one of those, you're worthless.

Like... I've always understood it... but seeing how much they fucking melt down over a normal ass looking woman just... clicked something in my brain. And whether or not I want to admit it, these mentalities are at the foundation of the patriarchy and permeate so much of our societies.

It's why they can't give a consistent answer to their own definition of what defines a man and a woman. It's why they'll always pivot or try something new. They don't even understand their own definition. They think they believe something different than what they actually believe. We're arguing with dipshits who don't even understand what they believe.

I need to separate the bits of their definitions that have wormed their way into my head, from reality. I may not be "fuckable", but I'm a woman, and that's all I wanted, so I can be happy in that.

Sure, I'd love to be prettier. I love to feel pretty... but I need to consider that desire separate from any criteria that makes me a woman. They're not the same thing. Dysphoria is that internalized patriarchal definition clawing at me.

#Twitter #Dysphoria #Trans #Patriarchy #Misogyny

Can I please have a day without feeling this form of severe #dysphoria ?

It makes me feel so bad and overwhelmed. Makes me want to punch, or when it's really bad cut open, my stomach. I fucking hate the fact I don't have a womb. Nothing else matters.

It really feels that being around family and seeing my two stepsisters with their kids is making this so much worse.

Being far from my gf can't be helping either.

I just want a day without feeling trash ffs

Sexual dysphoria

https://piefed.blahaj.zone/c/mtf/p/773091/sexual-dysphoria

rirrom eht ni lrig eht

It's all like the girl in the mirror,
is she me? Yes. Is she
someone else? Also yes.
Is she real? no, also yes
We're friends now, her and me (her/or me)
There are mundane diagnostic reasons
that I felt like she spoke to me from outside
Never made friends
with the man she replaced
Ignored him and everything
while looking like I was really there
He and I were both apparitions back then
The ghastly girl who ended his
quiet, sorrowful reign
at first seemed an avenging sword
then a jeering crowd
then she and I
recognized eachother
She appeared as I did
a sobbing little girl
in an awkward woman's body
That is when we took advantage
of feminine expectation
and dried eachother's tears
in front of the bathroom mirror

#poem #poetry #dysphoria