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#DoughNuts (a.k.a #Donuts)

Texture [3/5]: Chewier than other nuts. Sometimes fluffy, which is fine.

Flavor [4/5]: Pretty sweet.

Appearence [5/5]: The iconic topological torus of genus one.

Overall [4/5]: a decent nut to pair with coffee in the morning.

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#MacadamiaNuts

Texture [5/5]: An airy yet very satisfying crunch.

Flavor [4/5]: Mild, but pleasing — buttery and coconut-like.

Appearance (shell on) [4/5]: I like it — almost looks like a chocolate coating around the nut.
Appearance (shell off) [4/5]: Nothing special, but I rather like the shape.

Overall [4.2/5]: A good tropical snack.

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#XiJinping (President of #China)

I hope we can all agree that this man is a nut!

From his poor choice of “allies” (#Russia & #NorthKorea, really?) to his general incompetence at anything besides ruthless political power, there is not much to like about this nutty guy. However, I will award points for his cuddly, Pooh-like appearance.

Overall [2.5/5]: Pleasent appearance, but incompetent and harmful.

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#Hazelnuts (#Filberts)

Texture [5/5]: A hard and satisfying crunch.

Flavor [4/5]: Good as a companion to coffee or chocolate (#nutella!), but nothing special on its own.

Appearance (shell on) [5/5]: A classic and pleasing acorn look.
Appearance (shell off) [3/5]: OK but boring.

Overall [4.2/5]: A good, quintessential nut.

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#Cashews

Texture [2/5]: The crunch is soft and unsatisfying.

Flavor [3/5]: Nothing special. There is a reason why few things are cashew flavored.

Appearance (shell on) [1/5]: Weird & unsettling.
Appearance (shell off) [2/5]: like a small, curved, and wrinkled piece of male genetalia.

Overall [2/5]: Not a good nut.

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#Almonds

Texture [5/5]: Great, satisfying crunch when dry and roasted.

Flavor [4/5]: A pleasant flavor (love #marzipan!), but mild and just not as distinctive as peanuts, pecans, or pistachios.

Appearance (shell on) [3/5]: Forgettable.
Appearance (shell off) [5/5]: Sleek, sexy & iconic.

Overall [4.2/5]: A crunchy, attractive nut.

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#Pistachios

Texture [4/5]: Decent crunch, but a slight softness that prevents it from a 5.

Flavor [5:5]: Wonderful! More things in life should be pistachio flavored.

Appearance (shell on) [3/5]: Alright, but I’m not a huge fan the half-open shell.
Appearance (shell off) [4/5] Excellent unique green color, but shape leaves something to be desired.

Overall [4.1/5]: A good, flavorful snack.

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#Walnuts

Texture [4/5]:Better crunch than a pecan.

Flavor [4/5]: More bitter than a pecan, but still flavorful.

Appearance (shell on) [4/5]: Pleasing and oddly comforting, like a grandparent.
Appearance (shell off) [3/5]: Brain-like and irregular — less sleek than a pecan.

Overall [4/5]: A ruggedly enjoyable nut.

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#pecans

Texture [3/5]: It’s alright, but the crunch is a bit weak & leaves me unsatisfied.

Flavor [5/5]: Great! Distinctive & almost sweet maple-y flavor.

Appearance (shell on) [2/5]: Boring!
Appearance (shell off) [4/5]: Attractive, but why do they only come in halves?

Overall [4/5]:Great nut for a crisp Autumn morning.

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#BrazilNuts

Texture [5/5]: A satisfying, clean crunch for the whole mouth!

Flavor [2/5]: Not much.

Appearance (shell on) [3/5]: It’s okay & fun to crack.
Appearance (shell off) [3/5]: It’s fine — I guess I like the patterns of brown from the inner shell.

Overall [3.3/5]: Great crunch but bland.