(Continued …)

Some people will need #PhysicalAffection, to be #heard in their grief, #PracticalHelp or to be left alone. How do you know which to give? You ask. Which leads to knowing what sort of support you are able to give.

I am much better at practical help. I will pick up the flowers for the funeral, bring dinner, look after your kids. I am not good with the emotional help but sometimes we have to sit in our own #discomfort.

Holding someone while they cry can be extremely difficult. Listening to someone without inserting your own experiences isn’t easy.

And it can be hard to help someone else with their grief if we are also experiencing our own grief. This can often be the case with #families when a loved one dies. It’s ok to look after yourself before you look after someone else but mutual support is the best kind of support.

In the end, grief is very personal and we often don’t want to intrude on someone else’s grief because of our own experience, but offer anyway.

Instagrammer:
Be the rainbow in someone else’s storm and you’ll be amazed at how much brighter your world becomes.

Comment:
Sure. I’ll pray for them.

😕
I didn’t comment because I’m trying not to get into fights with randoms on the internet BUT I really want to know what prayer has actually done for anyone except the person praying.

This reads as if they’re saying, “I will think about doing the bare minimum for another person but won’t actually do anything.”

If you’re religious and you make those sorts of comments, especially in the face of traumatic experiences, please know that they don’t come across as supportive and loving.

And I offer this with all the love in the world: religious people need to know that, while your thoughts and prayers are heartfelt, they are not practical. People need you to actually do something.

Being someones rainbow is not a passive activity, it’s is active and in your face.

#ThoughtsAndPrayers #Rainbow #Storm #ActualHelp #PracticalHelp