I did it. I disabled OneDrive on my laptop.
I am sick of being unable to easily attach a finished project file to an email. I shouldn't have to search, fail, and call in the IT expert (who is in-house, lucky for me, thank you @wulfric ) in order to do my fucking job.
Yeah, yeah, I'm still using Word. Baby steps, kids. Baby steps. This step means I've lost the autosave function, which I will sorely miss, but so be it. I'll go back to manual saves after every 5 minutes or so, assuming I've made changes/suggestions in that time.