Brian MacDonaldMe: Hey, we got you some new flavors of food to try.
Cat: As per my last email, I prefer the crunchy...
Me: Yes, the committee has noted your objections, but the vet says soft food. Try this.
Cat: <snif> What the HELL is that?
Me: The can says "beef."
Cat: The hell is a "beef," and why would I want to eat it???
Me: OK, put a pin in that. Try "shrimp." You like seafood.
Cat: I refuse to participate in this experiment until I see some formal ethical guidelines.
Me: Wanna play with the string again?
Cat: Yeah! I shall hide in this cave (which happens to look like a chair) to pounce on it!
Me: Okaaaaay. <swings the shoelace>
Cat: Wait for it...
Cat: Wait for it...
Cat: Wait for it...
Cat: Waaaaaaaait...
Me: Hey, Aaron Burr, you gonna do anything at any point?
Cat: Waaaaaaaait...
Cat: You're sitting oddly again.
Me: It's a big armchair. I like to sit with my legs over the arm sometimes.
Cat: But I want to sit on you, and it's awkward.
Me: I understand, but this is how I'm sitting right now. You just can't sit on me at the moment.
Cat: Challenge accepted.
Cat: I see you're sitting in the comfy chair. I shall join you.
Me: Well, if you want, but...
Cat: You're sitting somewhat awkwardly. And you're holding that small screen in your hand. Makes it hard for me to sit on your lap.
Me: That's true. Sorry. Hang on...
Cat: No, no, stay there. I got this.
Me: I shall never move again.
Cat: I wish to sit on your lap now.
Me: That's nice, but I'm typing, and I need to...
Cat: Now. Please assume the position.
Me: <sighs, puts feet up on desk> Like this?
Cat: Slightly too high. Fix it.
Me: <shifts around, lowering lap about half an inch>
Cat: Great. <jumps>
Me: Is this going to be one of those times you jump down abruptly after two minutes, or one where you fall asleep for an hour? Because I have a meeting soon...
Cat: I guess we'll find out together.
Cat: Still don't prefer the wet food. I shall sit a foot away from it and glare.
Me: What if I moved you 12 inches closer to it? What then?
Cat: Makes no difference.
Me: <moves cat 12 inches>
Cat: <nom> This <nom> means nothing! <nom> It has no <nom> significance!
Cat: I shall sit on this comfy chair with you. <purr, purr>
Me: Aww, that's nice.
Cat: I shall lean against your leg while we sit on this comfy chair. <purr, purr>
Me: Aww, that's nice.
Me: I shall put my arm around you protectively.
Cat: Whoa, buddy! What do you think is going on here? I'm out!
@PhillGreen Which I received as a gift yesterday, so I'll find out soon enough. 😀
I'll try not to let Mr. Butcher's writing affect my #ConversationsWithCat
Me: You were very brave with our guests today. Thank you.
Cat: I like the older one. He smells like you.
Me: I...guess Dad probably does, yeah. But you were also good with my nephew. He really appreciated that.
Cat: You trained him to follow the proper protocols. He is acceptable. The other ones, though...
Me: OK, they're four and two; they're gonna be loud. You didn't need to hiss at them, though.
Cat: You mess with the cat, you get the hiss.
Me: Wanna play with a string?
Cat: Yeah! String! We haven't done this in a while.
Me: It's moving around! You're gonna have to jump to get it.
Cat: I am an agile panther, raar! <jump>
Me: Nice! Do it again!
Cat: <flomp>
Me: Um, lying on your back and waiting for me to bring the string to you isn't how this game works.
Cat: Pretty sure YOU asked ME to play, so this is how it works.
Me: I feel like your panther ancestors would be disappointed.
Cat: I feel like I don't care.