Im tired

I’m tired of being a part of the dumpster fire burning in the back of retail trauma running through the blue veins of a little brat accusing me of being a piece of shit, when I hear it I cower, this pill to swallow is an adjacent struggle of power, though I crave none at all. None at all. Never have I twisted the knife. Never in this life have I intended to ever disrespect, yet it’s socially acceptable to run rampant in the streets wearing your trauma but not taking accountability for it, this is wrong because people get wrongly treated because accountability doesn’t get taken

I have picked the worst people to be apart of my life at times in my life. People that I ended up entrusting with my life and believed things like they loved me or liked me when that was not the case at all, these people were sociopaths and narcissistic to the fullest extent. Horrible things have happened that have put a deep pause to my whole life at times and I felt like my life was over. Youre damn right I became a full blown addict eventually. I grew up with no one wanting me. I now live the same. The hurt and loneliness and sadness has turned to bitterness that’s been bypassed through a beating heart that’s surely broken. Just take a look in my eyes. You’ll see it all immediately and become judgemental. If not that, well, then, hell. The bell is beating a rhythm for goodbye.

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The Smouldering Escalade