5yo: "Dad, why can't crabs whistle?"

#5yo #parenting

5yo: "How many pieces of chicken do I have to eat?"

Me: "Well, you have 8, and you ate a lot of pasta, so how about 5 pieces?"

5yo: "No. I have to eat 8! 😡"

Me: 🤷‍♂️

#5yo #parenting

Impressed that my 5yo just asked "is there a negative zero?" Like.. That's a really damn good question from someone who gets 13 and 14 mixed up every single time.

#5yo #parenting #nostupidquestions

My 5yo, 2yo, wife, and I: *trying to have a nice continental breakfast while on vacation*

The TV in the hotel lobby as we eat: "this man was electrocuted for 10 minutes while drowning in a hot tub, here are the excruciating details!"

#parenting #5yo #2yo #vacation #vacationfail

Had a fun parenting moment the other day. Blew a breaker in the kitchen and was using a voltage wand much like this to figure out exactly which line was blown.

My 5yo & 2yo asked me what it was and rather than outright tell them, I said it is a tool that tells me something, and asked if they could figure out what exactly it was trying to tell me.

So we went around the house putting it near different things to see if the light would stay green, or turn red and beep. It took them a bit, but eventually they determined that it tells you when there's "dangerous electricity" in the thing it was near, not "safe electricity" like batteries or cords that weren't plugged in, but also that sometimes things that aren't obvious (like a lamp that is plugged in but not turned on) can still carry dangerous levels of electricity.

It was a really nice teaching moment and I think they learned a good thing or two about both different types of dangerous electrical items, why we use some tools for safety, and how to apply reason and deduction to narrow down possibilities to come to a conclusion.

#parenting #5yo #2yo #learning #tools

My neighbor across the street had some strong words for me today because apparently our cat, who's been indoor/outdoor her entire life, stirs his cats up.

Not only did this happen in front of the #5yo (who was terrified), but I was at a complete loss for how to react. I'm sorry, but I'm not about to contain my wild-born cat because yours freak out seeing her walk across your lawn on occasion. Even if I did put a screen door on the house, I have a 5yo and a 2yo, neither of which are going to ever remember not to let the cat out.

Anyways, I'm a strange combination of irritated and amused. But mostly irritated.

#5yo: "so, our couch is made out of dead people, right?"

#shitkidssay