Mastodawn

Wow. Mr. Warner Bros Bulldog here was in some pretty famous films after Attack of the (the) Eye Creatures! The Last Picture Show, Close Encounters & Sugarland Express to name a few. Who knew?

#mst3k #billthurman #lastpictureshow #closeencounters

Xi ♓Apr 26

Same guy.
Hollywood apparently needed a LOT of gorillas back in the day.

#georgebarrows #mesaoflostwomen #robotmonster #hillbilliesinahauntedhouse #mst3k #rifftrax

Xi ♓Apr 25

Ceremony, 1994

I rented this movie for the cover box. I didn't know what it was about & didn't care. It just looked cool. Unfortunately, the demon on the cover has about 3 minutes screen time total. It's been over twenty years since I last saw this film, I can't find it online & I'm absolutely not going to waste $44+ on a used VHS copy on amazon. I doubt this whole movie cost $44.98 to make, so fuck that.

#Ceremony

Xi ♓Apr 25

Prophecy, 1979

Plot: White man kill bear! Grunt a lot while you do so and make it manly! Both fists, come on you pansy! Assert your alpha masculinity! Oh, & make sure you use Armand Aspseudo's Native American arrow as your final weapon so as to insinuate that you have somehow been accepted as one of them & are the incarnation of the White Mustachioed Savior come to bring them into the 21st century via The Bible & Home Shopping Network.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ for the sleeping bag kill, tho.

#Prophecy

Xi ♓Apr 22

My dear friend Ray Garton died two years ago today. It seems so much longer than two years. I miss you terribly, Gartonzilla. #raygarton

Xi ♓Apr 22

Slightly shocked that the MST3k crew didn't recognize Nell Winters in "The Incredible Melting Man," instead IDing her as the directors niece, or something. Or at least didn't admit to recognizing her. Janus Blythe was Ruby in the original Hills Have Eyes, made out with Freddy Krueger in Eaten Alive & played a groupie alongside Janit Baldwin in Phantom of the Paradise. Oh, & the guy playing her hubby? Directed some movie called Silence of the Lambs or some shit... #mst3k #janusblythe

Xi ♓Apr 22

Can we just talk about how beautiful Janit Baldwin is? A perfect porcelain doll of a girl. As sweet and pink as a buttercream frosted birthday cake. Until you watch her raping Linda Blair with a plunger handle, or sexually threatening Piper Laurie, that is.

"She's pure as New York snow
She got Bette Davis eyes..."

#janitbaldwin

Xi ♓Apr 21

I did not celebrate 4/20 yesterday.
I do not smoke pot, you plebeians.
I purchase raspberry flavored gummies from a dispensary with four interior fountains, like a goddamned lady.

#420

Xi ♓Apr 21

Mr. Made-For-TV hippie man here from "San Francisco International" (the answer my friend is "blow it out your ass") also had a role in "Silent Running" which was one of the inspirations for a TV show called "Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Red Jumpsuits ARE the future, my dudes. #mst3k #cliffpotts

Xi ♓Apr 12

Just found out that Trent Zelazny died, like, a year and a half ago.

I'm glad George RR Martin had nice things to say about him. Because I do not. Trent could be very cruel and unfeeling. I hope wherever he is now, he knows I didn't deserve that.