streaming again, because why not. more hollow knight solo rando practice.
A cat, a void, a cup of coffee.
Vendryth in some spaces, Jaiden in some older places. IT nerd, big lazy cat. he/him or they/them, both are fine. No minors, please.
Vendryth
- 17 Followers
- 32 Following
- 158 Posts
guess i'm streaming again
another Hollow Knight randomizer, because turns out they're actually fun
The 293rd day of the year has been one of the few days every year that I pay attention to the approach of. It's shifted slowly from a day of celebration, to a day of hesitance, to a day of depression and vicious self-loathing. And for the 44th time, I have survived to see it.
I used to love seeing my birthday come around. Then, as I ended up isolated more and more, I had less interest in celebrating. Birthdays were spent in silence. It became a day where I was viciously aware of how alone I was. And, at least once, it has been a day of extreme emotional devestation.
As I tend to do on my birthday, I've turned introspective. Partially because a friend of mine helped me to realize that no one is going to help me change, would want to help me change, if I can't help myself change. He may not have phrased it that way, but that's where thoughts landed.
It's not going to be easy. I've been isolated for the greater part of 15 years. My health, in all forms and fashions, has suffered. My socialization skills have suffered greatly. I've lost contact with a lot of people that I don't blame for cutting me off. I wasn't being a good friend at all.
I want to get better, though. And going to BLFC kinda helped me realize that. There are still a lot of good people out there that wouldn't want to see me fester in this cesspit I've wallowed in for so long, and there are still a lot of good people I haven't even met yet.
I burned some bridges, and that's life, but I'll just have to use the ashes of my past mistakes to mark a new path for myself. I'm not much of an artist, but I'd like to use those ashes to make a sign to try and welcome people back into my life again somehow.
I'm 44 as of today. And all I'm asking for today is that, if we haven't talked for a while.. doesn't matter how long, consider givin' me another chance and say hi. Talk about whatever. Play a co-op game. Watch a movie or something silly on Youtube. Give a dumb old cat another chance.
Anyways, thanks for toleratin' me scrolling your timeline a whole bunch. And thanks for givin' me a chance just by lettin' me have the opportunity to scroll your timeline a whole bunch. Pet a black cat if you get a chance.
Alright, Reno time. See y'all at BLFC.
Soatok DreamseekerMe when a polycule shows interest:
I've been talking to doctors for 20-something years, on and off, and they always just kind of shrugged it off as "you have tendonitis, take these anti-inflammatories." "Okay, it hurts less now." "Congratulations, you're healed."
Then, when it inevitably came back, they just treat the immediate problem over and over again instead of identifying why it keeps coming back.
I just kind of got lucky this time in that my current primary care doctor gave me the anti-inflammatories again, and then suggested occupational therapy if it didn't stay fixed.
As a bit of explanation for someone that might see this and not understand why hypermobility = fucked up arms.
The layman's tl;dr is that because my wrists can move 10-15 degrees further than normal mobility, forward and backwards. My thumb is a *lot* more wiggly than normal mobility thumbs, too.
Because of that, muscles in my arms have to compensate a lot more for balance and stability when I'm being a hypermobile weirdo and I never knew, so I never tried to improve those muscles, and they got weak and whiny.
After an entire life of not knowing that my arms were all fucked up because I'm hypermobile in both hands and wrists, it's nice to finally get to see an occupational therapist.
I can feel tiny differences already, and god, can I feel the difference between before I go in for appointments and afterwards, as far as how the stuff he's using feels against the tendons in my arms.
He described pretty much all the muscles he was working with in my arms as "extremely crunchy" on day one. It felt -weird-.
Taggart 
I haven't said this in a minute, so just in case there was any question: @thetaggartinstitute is, and will always be, a safe space for LGBTQ+ learners. We have a zero tolerance policy for hate of any kind. Whoever you are, however you identify, you are most welcome here. Except Nazis, of course.