My spouse and I have been struggling, and a large part of that struggle is a lot of hurt feelings over (transphobic) stuff they said early in my transition. We've been working on "accountability" (both ways - i've said/done a lot of hurtful things too. being a self-closeted egg is hard), and the ownership they've taken for a lot of their actions has left a lot to be desired.

But during an unrelated conversation (about difficult feelings re: being trans in the US in 2026), they kind of just blurted out, "Well. You know, I'm trans too." Honestly, at first I took it as incredibly flippant and invalidating. It felt like they were saying "i already understood how you feel. so... stop talking about it." But after I processed it more it started to make so much sense. It could recontextualize our entire relationship, and... I dunno. I got really excited thinking there might actually be a path forward for us, and a chance for much more mutual understanding.

But after talking about their feelings for a day or so, they shut down, and have told me not to mention it at all until they bring it back up. It's been almost four weeks, and I'm struggling with this in-between feeling. I still very much need that accountability, and I'm not sure how to approach that conversation without talking about their gender. I'm also struggling just... waiting. I know when I first cracked I was so scared and wanted to bury the feelings and never ever talk about them again. But. I also see how incredibly painful and damaging that was for me. And I guess I really want to help them avoid getting stuck in that place (like I did for a long time).

Anyway. I'm looking for any advice about how to approach this to help both of us feel safer through the process, and especially about how to heal some of these (very old) wounds (we've been together for 19 years). Ooor just someone to commiserate with 😅

I'd be happy to share more details privately. Boosts appreciated.

When it comes to oppression, our only real choices are to rock the boat, or go down with the ship.

I know what side I'm on.

How about you?

Don't bring your phone to the protest

Wear your most generic, mass-produced, non-identifiable clothes

Wear running shoes

N95's are a good idea for many reasons

Water in a bottle with no stickers

Don't RSVP with anyone beforehand

Tell a friend when you expect to be back

Be safe, don't get hurt, don't let them put you in the cop car

Give them hell

Hi all! 👋

I'm Emily (or em). I've been on mastodon for several years as @touncis but (finally) trying to separate out a space for play and to be less self-conscious, less practiced, and more my unhinged self.

My self-perception shattered into a million pieces a few years ago as I started to realize I'm not the `default human` I thought I was supposed to be, and I'm still trying to figure out how the pieces go together now.

Anyway. Feel free to say hi or follow! I'm going to try to be more bold (hopefully not irritating) about interacting. I'm very open to criticism (especially gentle criticism).

At their very simplest, anarchist beliefs turn on to two elementary assumptions. The first is that human beings are, under ordinary circumstances, about as reasonable and decent as they are allowed to be, and can organize themselves and their communities without needing to be told how. The second is that power corrupts.
-- David Graeber

#anarchism #quote #bot

Just remember that every time a group has fought for positive social and political change throughout history, they have been told that what they were doing was pointless, wouldn't matter, and wouldn't change anything.

They have been wrong every time.