here's how my experience with topping vagina has been through my life. my experience, while like *considerable*, is not universal; bodies work differently etc. all of this applies alike to cis women, trans women with neovag, and transmasc folk with hole, with little difference.

*edit*: this is now available in improved form at the blog: https://wordsmith.social/elilla/pussy-howto

almost all folk equipped with a vagina that I've been with can be classified into two broad types: clitoris-oriented and penetration-oriented. those who like primarily clitoral stimulation usually also like penetration but are kinda meh about it, and won't, like, chase it on their own initiative. and vice-versa for penetration enjoyers.

a clitoris-oriented bottom likely will enjoy oral sex and clitoris toys (vibrators, suction devices, pain tools if they're masochist). when doing penetration, it always pays off to find ways to simultaneously stimulate the clit. if you're doing PIV, for example, you can "ride them high"—push your body up so that your cock is pressed more towards their belly button, and move in a way that your abs rub on their clit. you can also use rabbit-type cock sleeves etc. if doing fingerfucking, you can tongue at the same time, or do a pinch grip with fingers going in and thumb rubbing the clit (keep thumb well lubed; if their vag gets wet, adding your saliva is enough).

bottoms are often subby, and a clit-oriented bottom may see penetration as a thing they do for you. depending on their kinks, this may matter for them more than getting off from clit rubbing. if you get one of these, I advise you to reach the level of intimacy and trust where you can really let go of the desire to make them feel pleasure, and just enjoy the hole in whichever way makes *you* get off the most, as that ends up being a superb experience for them too.

a penetration-oriented bottom craves a fuck. they generally want it intense, hard, and long-lasting. but you can't jump into it until their crave is turned on. I've been with girls who like, needed to be bred unceremoniously anywhere, in a corner of an empty lot or the building stairwell or at a dark corridor at the uni, you pull down her panties and she's always ready and eager to take it. but in most cases libido turns on slowly, and it's best to turn on the heat gradually, playing with their body without hurry, until they're coiling and twisting and begging for it. the longer you edge them the better it feels.

people who like to be pounded divide into a few subtypes:

- G-spot enjoyers: curve your fingers up towards their belly, not too deep in. Feel for a spongy, ribbed texture. Press on their belly from above to increase pressure against your fingertips. Experiment around the area and monitor their reactions. If they say something like, "oh god oh god fuckfuckfuckfuck", that's a G-spot enjoyer. I've never found a toy that does this better than my fingers.
- Cervix bottoms: Constantly craving for a deep fuck. You can test by getting two of your longest fingers as deeply inside as humanly possible, pound that a few times, monitor their reactions. If they get off on this, you can go hard and long and rough, but not necessarily fast, certainly not fast from the get-go. Let them *feel* each plap. This type benefits from dildos and strap-ons.

Be aware that many of these activities aren't for everyone. Most folk I've been with find cervix pounding downright unpleasant, except the ones that crave it the way a drowning body craves oxygen. Some folk find G-spot stimulation a disagreeable peeing pressure, not desirable at all. There's no secret here; ask how it usually works for them, experiment with touch, observe, learn the language of their body.