Mario sighs, exhaling the despair of his pointless, undying life. The controller takes over his body once again, forcing him to jump.

Tarot reader flipped over the "Guy Who Gets Killed Cleaning The Animal
Cages" card and she says they typically aren’t that specific.

I think it all went wrong when people started voluntarily camping.

Two-week-old donuts are just biscotti so lose the attitude.

Lots of people like to make fun of vegans but I've never had beef with them.

You think my posts are junk?
Dude, you should see my people skills.

Another year, another fat man trying to crawl into my chimney…

I post about the good shit to remind myself I that I can, in fact, get through the Hood shit.

This day in history. 1777. France recognized American independence, which is like your weird uncle telling you you can get a neck tattoo after your mom said no.