I made my daughter’s birthday cake today. It definitely looks like an anus. #anuscake #chocolatefrostingwonthelp #disaster
TCon101
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I do science. Recent convert from the bird.
I like that they specify the backpack is mini. Like otherwise I'd think the pigeon was busting around wearing a full on jansport.
"Mum, can we listen to music in the car?"
"Sure thing kiddo."
"My music or your music?"
"I don't know. Let's see."
*Muttered under her breath*
"... Please not Mummy's garbage... please please please..."
My daughter was singing in the car this morning..
🎶We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
And a happy new year!
Now bring us some friggin pudding,
Now bring us some friggin pudding... 🎶
"Figgy, kiddo. It's *figgy* pudding."
"Oh. I kind of liked it my way better."
Not gonna lie, so did I.
Just saw a rat in the BOS airport. Little fucker was strutting around like he expected me to salute him. #airportrat #travelfun #FridayThoughts
A man purchasing particularly large produce prompted my daughter to LOUDLY blurt out "look at the size of that guy's cucumber!!", just in case anyone was wondering why we left the grocery store in such a hurry. #mortified #itwasenormous #hedefinitelyheardher
"I have found that if I put more than one page of text into Word, it won't let me make the document into a PDF so moving forward, all my memos will be one page or less." -corporate attorney
Majestic.
My daughter’s teacher has repeatedly referred to her as a “distraction” in class and when I suggest techniques for redirecting her focus, I just get “have you considered adderall?” Since I don’t actually want to drug my 7 year old at the behest of a lazy teacher, I have taken the passive aggressive step of filling my daughter’s lunch with hard boiled eggs, broccoli, coleslaw and other such foods. I am fighting fire with farts.
Our collective obsession with #tragedy is a bit weird. The local free stuff group on FB reads like an episode of AGT. "Giving away 2 lightbulbs, bought wrong wattage" "OMG would love to be considered! After losing my home, job and all my clothes in the last 2 weeks, I've turned my life around by collecting lightbulbs for the local refugee community and teaching them to make eye glasses for local visually impaired underprivileged special needs puppies. BLESS." #sundaymusings