ash spiders

36 Followers
32 Following
281 Posts

you have found: a weird dissociative autistic little girl and her troupe of imaginary friends and talking stuffed animals! add her to your inventory?

audhd, ace, postcringe freak, plural/dpdr-adjacent, trans, otherkin, agere, public universal middle sister, friend of bluey, around seattle (am pastəd). autistically longwinded

if you follow us, expect:
~ middleposting, littleposting, siblingposting, cglposting, dollposting, petposting
~ stuffed aminals (esp my bunnie stuffie bluebell)
~ my current spins/fixations (medieval stuff, old english/middle english, folk art/music/tales, storytelling and poetry)
~ kink (am mostly ace so stuff won't be that spicy. but i like hypno/mind control, and cgl/siblingplay. also i'm probably not gonna cw casual mentions of kink. this profile is already you're warning i am just Weird in a way that resents being slotted into categories of "kink" or "sexual" or being asked to taxonomize or hide myself)
~ drawing
~ drugs
~ occaisonal writing (read my sci fi cgl short story weavers or my essay about age regression, hypno, and spirituality!)

i'm new here (or actually, returning. i used to be on fedi alot since 2017 but stopped using it when cybre.space shut down), and i'm looking for fellow weirdos and freaks to be friends with, so if you're a freak plzzzzzzzzz follow me and let's be friends!!. also although we feel childlike, our body has seen many more than 21 winters, if you care about our literal age
avi - banner.

pronounsfae, it, they, she, þey/þem
website (in beta)https://elfwine.neocities.org/
partner@iliana
@qualia did u know the "/ . / . / . / ., dooh dah, dooh dah" pattern is also compatible with the rhythm of "london bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..." (/ . / . / . / - / . / - / . /)

@aroacemagicalnerd basically "if every cell is individually concious, what happens to their conciousness when they are combined into a larger concious entity? does each cell stop being a subject?"

ní anse: the ego is an illusion, a kind of always arising and dissolving focal point of a distributed system of sensing and relating. when you burn your finger, the cells there are experiencing pain as subjects in themselves, but because they are closely entangled with all other cells, passing information between them thru nerves and chemicals and hormones, the entire gestalt organism that is a body like us becomes aware of that pain too, and if it happens to be arranged into a "self" at that particular moment, the self, who is focal to a distant patch of other cells, may see itself as being the one experiencing the pain. not all cells are communicating to the ones who are involved in ego-patterning. you have not much awareness of what your killer T cells are doing at any given moment, because they don't need the ego's involvement. but because they act in a system that is deeply connected, what they do has effects, and those effects are felt

one can see a society as a kind of gestalt creature likewise. one that, uniquely, doesn't always have a centralized ego, exactly, though in the case of a very centralized authoritarian society where the whims of a small body of politicians (or even a single dictator/monarch) determine what the social-body does, it certainly can be said to have one. each of us are like cells in that social-body (or rather, social bodies, because it's never just one, it's many competing or cooperating relational organisms, gestalts within gestalts, in a dance of sociality). when one of us suffers, the pain may be felt (or ignored, or only indirectly experienced) in other parts of the social-body.

the other aspect of the combination problem, i saw it put as "if the rock has rock-conciousness, does the rock touching a blade of grass have rock-plus-blade-of-grass conciousness?" to which i would say, yeah. (and of course, rock conciousness is very different from human conciousness; we aren't talking about a rock sitting there thinking human thoughts and feeling human feelings; the rock has its own rock feelings that emerge out of the inhherent beingness that is existing in the field of conciousness. it must be both very alien and also very familiar to be a rock). when one uses a tool intimately and is in close contact with it, it can become a part of who you are. at some point while playing a musical instrument, the distinction between me and the tin whistle dissolves, and i know it intimately, like a part of my body, our two ways of existing have become closely-entangled, have combined; the whistle experiences its own self, we experience our own self, but we have formed a cohesive organism too, and if i was permanently affixed to the whistle, we would start to forget what it was like to not have a tin whistle in our body-layout at all times (a very strange thought experiment, but not that strange; those who rely on external tools for disability reasons know the feeling of a tool, for better or worse, being a 'permanent', part of your body)

we think again that it's just a result of people having a very limited perspective about their own selves borne of cultural individualism. when you are immersed in water, the water is having a profound effect on you, on the way you are, what you are seeing and feeling, you can feel currents, feel the coolth of the water. but anyone with a very tightly bound sense of self is afraid to let it then be true that, in a way, they have become a part of the larger body of water, for a little bit. therapists try to treat mental illnesses like depression or anxiety as though its just a personal individual problem, your neurotransmitters being wrong, but they're caused in large part because the social-body of our world is depressed and anxious because it is disintigrating and anihilating itself and since we are entangled with it and feeling what it is feeling, like how when we get stressed our cells start to deteriorate in health too. every place-time acts on you.

and about that blade of grass, the example we saw put all the focus on the rock, because it's very odd to a western frame of mind that a rock might be a creature. but beccause western culture is also very plant-blind, they don't consider that the grass is also having a relationship to the rock, is changing how it grows in response to the rock. the grass is experiencing being grass-plus-rock, while the rock experiences being rock-plus-grass. maybe, if we change the idea to a tree, you can see how eventually the tree might grow around the rock in a way that they can't be separated anymore. you can see this happen sometimes, trees growing around objects, the objects becoming parts of them.

how all this relates to plurality is that it's very similar, being a median plural system, each of our facets has its own experience of the world but because they are in tight, constant contact with other facets, they also form one gestalt "whole" that is, depending on how "in sync" we are, easier or harder for us 'individually' to relate to.

sorry for the long reply, and sorry if i sound lost in the sauce, i promise at least that all i'm on right now is a cup of milky tea and good ol' AuDHD + Other Brain Spicyes. hope you found it interesting.

like we should all be able to agree that factory farming and animal testing and the indescribably horrific violence to our earth that is mining, and damming rivers, and clearing old growth forests, and extracting absolutely everything, is bad and evil. but as soon as the Other isn't as real as you and you can safely remove consideration of them as an ethical "person" whose fate is bound with yours, it frees you up to do whatever icarian things you want with no* consequences

we think cognitive anthropocentrism is very related to colonial ideology, and also ableism/sanism, and other kinds of oppression. this all encompassing belief that the Other is not worth considering, that their voice is not worth hearing, that they are lesser than you, that because they think differently than you, they can be safely dismissed, or turned into a commodity, or something to exploit

i know i get worked up about it but it's just depressing how seemingly 99% of cultures agree conciousness goes beyond humans, goes beyond animals, can be found in all sorts of non-human places, but the 1% that said "no, it does't :)" happened to take over the world, and weaponized anthropocentrism to destroy and exploit everything and everyone and drive us all into collapse on the basis of "the Other isn't real in the way i'm real"
and also the "combination problem" of panpsychism is a complete non-issue born of individualist brainrot. i bet most plural systems, especially median plurals, have no real trouble understanding the resolution of the "combination problem". and if you are a creature awake to the entangled nature of reality and don't see yourself as fully separable from the 'other', it's even easier, and the more you think about it the more fascinating and deep the way conciousness combines goes. but of COURSE scientists, who push anyone out of their field who's too "crazy" or "lacks objectivity" (again, in a field about studying subjectivity and emotions??) can't comprehend what anyone who'se made it thru Plurality Kindergarten understands.
until anthropocentric scientists learn they are not the epistemological center of the universe, they will keep moving the goal posts in new and bizarre ways

like i get not everyone is spicy enough like me to be an animist but panpsychism, for ppl who have confined themselves to a "scientific rational worldview" (whatever) , is just so elegant and obviously true. what is more likely, that conciousness is this bizarre super rare thing that you need neurons, and only neurons in the right way to experience, and nobody can ever figure out what it is or even adequately define it, or that conciousness is just what it is to be, and the shape of being determines how the conciousness feels "on the inside"?

what is more likely, that every body in the universe moves in bizarre extremely convoluted twisty orbits around a geocentric earth? or that everything moves in elegant elipsoids and parabolas and hyperbolas?

"i won't consider such a theory, it's too subjective and unscientific" says some cognitive scientists, that is to say, guys who literally STUDY SUBJECTIVITY??
one day in the future panpsychism will be seen as so obviously correct among the scientific that everyone will look back at this time like its the dark ages of the study of conciousness
@LateNiteGL awww HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOW!!!!