There’s literally nothing you can buy for 25 cents today that’s this good.

When I was a kid, adults didn’t give two shits about safety. No helmets, no seatbelts, billowing clouds of second-hand smoke, playgrounds equipped for Navy SEAL training. But if you tried to use a pair of scissors they freaked the fuck out. So we got these dull motherfuckers.

We really need a coffee table book of 70s and 80s beer league softball teams. Just look at this murderer’s row. Perms, staches, dogs, dogs with Frisbees, pointing-at-the-camera guy, there’s probably about 11 divorces on this roster.

motherfucker started a war he can’t win just to hide that he’s a pedophile and a sex trafficker