DE TOMASO HAS BEEN UNDER FIRE AFTER ALLEGATIONS SURFACED THAT THEY NECROMANTICALLY RAISED H.R. GIGER AND COMMISSIONED HIM TO DESIGN THE EXHAUST SYSTEM FOR THEIR V12 P900.

THE ESTEEMED ITALIAN AUTOMAKER HAS FINALLY RESPONDED WITH A PUBLIC STATEMENT FROM THEIR WESTERN SYDNEY OFFICE:

"YEAH IT'S FUCKEN' HEAPS SICK AY?"

I MAKE ALL THE INTERNS THAT REPORT TO ME SIGN A NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT, I DO NOT WANT THEM TO DISCLOSE ANYTHING AROUND ME.

INTERNS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.

CLOUD COMPUTING WAS ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE YOU COULD SHIFT LARGE CAPEX INTO PREDICTABLE, REGULAR OPEX.

LABOUR HAS ALWAYS HAD THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM, INCREDIBLY HIGH OPERATIONAL EXPENDITURE (PAYROLL) WITH HIGH RISK (TURNOVER, MARKET FORCES, LAB ACCIDENTS). WHAT I AM ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE IS A WAY TO TURN EMPLOYEES INTO A CAPITAL EXPENDITURE.

"WE CAN ONLY DEFEAT FACISM WITH THE POWER OF LOVE"

WRONG! ANTI-MATERIAL RIFLE.

IT'S GOOD FRIDAY FOR AGNOSTICS! A HOLIDAY THAT OCCURS ABOUT 51 TIMES A YEAR WHEN THE BOTTLESHOPS ARE OPEN.

CELEBRATE WITH YOUR FAVOURITE CHOICE OF BEVERAGE AND A COMPLETE UNCERTAINTY OF WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DEATH.

SO ROBLOX IS ALLOWED TO EMPLOY UNDERAGE CHILDREN TO EFFECTIVELY BUILD IT'S EMPIRE AND PAY THEM IN COMPANY SCRIP BUT WHEN I DO IT I'M "VIOLATING CHILD LABOUR LAWS" AND "COMMITTING TREASON"?

WOULD IT HELP IF I WAS LISTED ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE?