Ann Arbor Pitchbot

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Grumpy townie since 1983. Sometimes parody is indistinguishable from reality. DM your pitches. they/them
Opinion | Raise the weather shields! #a2council

Opinion | The miniseries “Roots” chronicles the struggles of enslaved people to maintain their human dignity in the face of indescribable oppression. As an Ann Arbor Nextdoor lead who once got called a “boomer Karen,” I’ve never felt so seen.

by Chrissy Granitemelter #a2council

In this midwest college town, liberal townies don't know why the state would reduce minimum lot sizes and allow duplexes by right. But they do know this: if they see a new apartment in their neighborhood, they'll be voting for John James in November. #a2council
Opinion | I’m a lifelong Republican. But Mayor Taylor’s plan to legalize duplexes in my neighborhood has me asking, “did Mao Zedong have some good ideas?” #a2council
In this Northside diner, these landlords aren’t sure who abducted Nancy Guthrie. But they do know this: on the missing Lowertown PUD money, Chris Taylor is public enemy number one, and he’s still on the loose. #a2council

Roses are red
Violets are blue
It's been lovely
Spending Valentine's Day with you

#a2council

The bike lanes are empty
Ann Arbor hates cars
There's too much traffic
Driving home from bars

#a2council

There once was a real estate agent
Whose fees added up to big payments.
She learned R1 could be dead
so with bitterness said,
"But there was no public engagement!!!"

#a2council

I live in a mansion.
Upzoning is theft.
My vote for mayor?
The "Socialist" Yousef.