phil jitters

161 Followers
157 Following
127 Posts
no thank you
thinking about some guy i met who was freaking out because “the moon’s been full for two weeks and nobody’s talking about it”
Novelty mug that says “free refills”
Novelty mug that says “humor me”
Novelty mug that says “say it don’t spray it”
Novelty mug that says “just got here”
Novelty mug that says “antidote”
Novelty mug that says “down the hatch”
1/x
@greasepaint they sustain me
People in LA are always going to their dad’s to give him the healing energies
People in LA are always going to their dad’s to give him the healing energies
ive been called the "citizen kane of posters" because all of my jokes sound like they were written in 1941
The wedding planning industry is a prank
@homosexualdalecooper it’s good until somewhere around season 3, then it turns a corner and becomes Extremely Good
@homosexualdalecooper if I could choose one show to watch for the first time again it’d be the x files