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" So, that means every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
I always thought court philosopher would be a good gig

Can't really choose a favorite, but it would have to be something from Leonard Cohen -

Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack, a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.

Also - giant hogweed, which will burn you...https://www.nps.gov/articles/species-spotlight-giant-hogweed.htm
sketch artist: "I'm good, but not that good"
I love his books! You might check out Joel Achenbach too - https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Joel-Achenbach/1162553
Joel Achenbach

Joel Achenbach is a reporter for The Washington Post, and the author of six previous books, including The Grand Idea, Captured by Aliens and Why Things Are. He started the Washington Post's first blog, Achenblog, and has worked on the newspaper's national Style magazine and Outlook staffs. He regularly contributes science articles to National Geographic. A native of Gainesville, Florida and a 1982 graduate of Princeton University, he lives in Washington, D.C. with his wife and three children.

Simon & Schuster
Let Michael Schur guide you! - Watch The Good Place and read How to Be Perfect
It's been a while, but I think Max Barry came up with Global Unified Deity in Jennifer Government (great book, by the way)

Gene Weingarten - One Day: The Extraordinary Story of an Ordinary 24 Hours in America.

I love the way he writes - check out his long feature writing.

I seem to gravitate towards journalists: Tracy Kidder, Erik Larson, Sarah Vowell, Joel Achenbach, Jon Krakauer, Joe Starita, Mary Roach

Agatha Christie's are classics, of course - and Dorothy Sayers - but there are so many variations.

Maybe check out Ann Cleeves, or Andrew Vachss is you prefer darker, or Ruth Rendell and Patricia Highsmith for psychological -