VorsosScrum is just team management with a made-up substitution cypher for bosses to feel special about doing their job.
“Sprint” is a deadline.
“Increment” is a task.
“Daily scrum” is a meeting.
“Product owner” is the team leader.
“Burn chart,” “velocity,” “definition of done,” and “artifacts” are progress reports.
“Flag branching” is testing.
“Scrum master” trains others to substitute these words, like a barista stressing “venti” when you say large.
It’s bad enough “Scrum” sounds like the inside of our keyboards collecting scum and crumbs. It’s so ridiculous, you didn’t notice I made up “flag branching” after learning Scrum has at least four different ways to say progress report.
Reclaim your dignity at work. Call a meeting a meeting.