I grew up in a rural environment in the 90s and early 2000s where it was perfectly normal to use “gay” with a negative connotation. The kind of environment where homosexuality was weird and every guy 13+ had to constantly prove he wasn’t gay or get angry getting called so.

I was fortunate enough to move away from there and meet new people and ideas.

I remember one turning point specifically. I was chatting with some people and used “gay” to describe some product I didn’t like, without thinking about it all, no ill intent. Later one of the guys took me aside and asked me if I realised I said that while a gay friend was standing right by. It couldn’t give a good answer in that moment but it gave me something to think about and I apologized later. He took it like a champ and I’m much more conscious about language since.