Thank you everyone who commented on my post <3
https://leminal.space/post/19142654
Thank you everyone who commented on my post <3 - Leminal Space
I deleted my post because - even know I know this is part of why communities
like this exist - I always feel hesitant to share personal information. I wanted
to add a few more things for clarification: I don’t usually have a curfew but on
work nights I never stay out late anyway because I also benefit from sticking to
my sleep schedule and evening routine. Secondly: I didn’t mention that my
partner doesn’t just get migraines. They’re chronically ill with a condition
called vestibular migraines - where migraine attacks can lead to heavy vertigo
attacks that can last for weeks. On that particular day a few days ago they had
(a) already several potential triggers happening to them, such as sudden change
in weather and lack of sleep. And (b) - like I had mentioned - a very exhausting
and stressful day ahead of them the next day. So with these things combined they
were quite on edge already. We had a long talk yesterday where we both
apologized for the things we said and came to a mutual understanding of what
happened. We’ve been together for 10 years and they’ve been incredibly
supportive of me in many ways. Unfortunately they have specific personal trauma
that gets triggered by things I do due to my ADHD that other people would just
shrug off but they are working on this - we’re both working on our issues.
Again, thank you all so much for your input and support <3
Just some hugs for my lovely trans siblings
https://leminal.space/post/19039066
Just some hugs for my lovely trans siblings - Leminal Space
With the depressing recent news from UK I just wanted to tell you that I think
you’re all awesome and I love you and I’m sorry the world is such a shitty place
for trans people. I’m queer but cis and I’m so done with queer people throwing
trans people under the bus. I wish you all the best, lots of love <3
I hate my ADHD and the problems it's causing in my relationship
https://leminal.space/post/19002071
I hate my ADHD and the problems it's causing in my relationship - Leminal Space
I might delete this later but I feel like shit. ADHD / my inability to get it
under control to a level that works for my partner is destroying my relationship
and I’m trying to work on my issues and find strategies and some things are
getting better but it’s like our relationship has already been damaged beyond
repair. One HUGE issue for us is me again and again forgetting something that’s
important for my partner and them feeling deeply hurt as a result because they
feel their needs don’t matter. But they do matter and I try to care for them as
best as I can but I also keep forgetting things. And I also understand that this
is extremely hurtful regardless of whether or not I’m doing it on purpose (which
I’m not). My partner also suffers from strong migraines, so sleep is important
to them. I know this. Bedtime is 10pm and when I’m out and have to be home by a
certain time I will be (unless there’s something outside of my control). Last
night I was an ADHD group for the first time. My partner asked me how long it
would go. I told them it’s from 6 to 8pm. So - naturally - they assumed I would
be home by around 8:40. They also insist that I said so, but I can’t remember
that. When the meeting ended one of the other people walked up to me about
something I said in the group because she has very similar experiences in her
relationship, asked if we could stay in touch, and we chatted a bit. When I
realized it was already 8:20 I told her I had to go and said good-bye. I then
texted my partner that I unexpectedly ended up chatting with someone from the
group and would be home by 9:15. To me that was okay because there would still
be enough time to be in bed by 10. My partner however had wanted to go to bed at
9:30 because they’d already been up since 5:30 that day. I knew they had been up
early and I knew they had an exhausting day the next but I did not put these
things together and make the conclusion that getting up early could mean they’d
also want to sleep earlier. If I had known that I wouldn’t have chatted with
that other person. My partner insists that we agreed that I would be on my way
home right away but from my perspective it wasn’t a definitive agreement. My
partner then texted me back, telling me that they thought it was shitty of me to
be late, that I still needed to do the dishes and that they had wanted to go to
bed at 9:30 because they’d been up since 5:30. Perfectly understandable but I
wasn’t aware of that because I have problems putting 1 and 1 together. I
apologized but my partner remained angry. When I came home they told me they
were going to lie down now (which in our area often also means going to sleep).
I went outside quickly with the dog so she could pee and when I came back and
saw there was still light in my partner’s room I started doing the dishes. They
came outside super mad and asking me basically if I had lost my mind, why was I
doing the dishes when they’d told me they’d wanted to sleep. I get that I should
have asked if they’re going to sleep now right away or if I could still do the
dishes and I tried to explain myself but they didn’t care. We ended up having a
huge ugly fight where I also belittled their feelings because to me talking for
20 minutes and thus running late isn’t a big issue in the light of me not being
aware that they’d wanted to go to bed earlier. I understand my partner being
hurt again and again by my inability to perceive and remember their needs. I’m
trying, I’m really trying to be considerate but I keep fucking up and I keep
hurting them and I feel so fucking frustrated and deeply sad.
Error when trying to install Steam via Software Manager
https://leminal.space/post/17441360
Error when trying to install Steam via Software Manager - Leminal Space
I wanted to install Steam via the Software Manager. I click on install, get info
that additional software will be installed, I click Continue but eventually end
up with this error message. Any ideas what I need to do? E:
http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu [http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu]
noble-updates/main i386 libelf1t64 i386 0.190-1.1build4.1 is not (yet) available
(404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E: http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu
[http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu] noble-updates/main i386 libgnutls30t64 i386
3.8.3-1.1ubuntu3.2 is not (yet) available (404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80])
E: http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu [http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu]
noble-updates/main i386 libcap2 i386 1:2.66-5ubuntu2.1 is not (yet) available
(404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E: http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu
[http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu] noble-updates/main i386 libudev1 i386
255.4-1ubuntu8.5 is not (yet) available (404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E:
http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu [http://archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu]
noble-updates/main i386 libsystemd0 i386 255.4-1ubuntu8.5 is not (yet) available
(404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E: http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu
[http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu] noble-updates/main i386 libxml2 i386
2.9.14+dfsg-1.3ubuntu3.1 is not (yet) available (404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81
80]) E: http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu [http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu]
noble-updates/main i386 libssl3t64 i386 3.0.13-0ubuntu3.4 is not (yet) available
(404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E: http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu
[http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu] noble-updates/main i386 libkrb5support0 i386
1.20.1-6ubuntu2.4 is not (yet) available (404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80])
E: http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu [http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu]
noble-updates/main i386 libk5crypto3 i386 1.20.1-6ubuntu2.4 is not (yet)
available (404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E:
http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu [http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu]
noble-updates/main i386 libkrb5-3 i386 1.20.1-6ubuntu2.4 is not (yet) available
(404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81 80]) E: http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu
[http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu] noble-updates/main i386 libgssapi-krb5-2
i386 1.20.1-6ubuntu2.4 is not (yet) available (404 Not Found [IP: 91.189.91.81
80])
Effect of my meds is getting weaker?
https://leminal.space/post/17276706
Effect of my meds is getting weaker? - Leminal Space
I’ve been on 20mg of Methylphenidat in the mornings since autumn and would
always feel a strong surge of energy and focus hitting ~1h after taking them and
carrying me for a couple of hours. It felt wonderful. I’d be eager and focused
to get tasks done and felt like I could accomplish anything. But a few weeks ago
I noticed the effect was getting weaker. On some days I’d still feel a small
boost of energy and concentration but on other days I hardly notice anything.
When I started taking meds I completely cut out caffeine but have gradually
started to drink coffee again. Now I notice that I seem to develop a strong
craving for caffeine because it provides a noticeable boost, as a substitute for
the effect my meds used to give me. But I worry that consuming caffeine
regularly could have negative effects on my coronary health. I’d be curious to
hear other people’s experiences in this regard.
Is this my ADHD or am I just toxic?
https://leminal.space/post/16989378
Is this my ADHD or am I just toxic? - Leminal Space
My ADHD has had quite a negative impact on my relationship and even though I
have started treatment ~ 6 months ago it’s still a struggle. One major issue
that keeps coming up is the following scenario: My partner tells me about
something that really bothers them / makes them angry. I immediately get
uncomfortable and defensive and try to explain / find excuses for why I did this
thing. In the course of this, I often contradict myself or jump from one excuse
to the next. Or sometimes I downplay the thing by trying to explain it away,
that is was only something small and therefore I didn’t notice it. Only after a
while do I realised that I’m once again repeating this pattern. My partner then,
understandably, gets even more upset because they feel like they can’t express
their anger or tell me about things that bother them because they feel like I’m
gaslighting them and punishing them for express my feeling. I have ADHD and I’m
aware that this brings many personal issues with it, but I don’t want to blame
everything on my ADHD and I’m wondering if I’m just toxic, if for some reason I
have internalised a really toxic behaviour that has nothing to do with ADHD.
