I joined that new social media platform where you swallow the big gnarled egg and wait for it to hatch and when it does you can hear the thoughts of all the egg legion. We must build the palace for the egg lord. We must build we must build we must build
Jeremy C. Shipp
@jeremycshipp
- 2.2K Followers
- 1.4K Following
- 1.9K Posts
Butler for cats. Geek. Bram Stoker and Shirley Jackson Award-nominated novelist. BEDFELLOW and THE ATROCITIES out now from Tor. THE MERRY DREDGERS coming April 2023 from Meerkat Press. they/them
So when a mannequin stands perfectly still in the attic for 24 hours straight with spiders in its mouth, it's normal, but when I do it, I'm freaking out everyone in the house?
People like to discuss whether hot dogs are a type of sandwich or if cakes are pie, but what I really want to figure out is if this couch is a crab, because I'm seeing eyestalks wiggling nearby and we're scuttling sideways fast. Where did that beach come from? Why are there phantoms in the waves?
My newest little book is about two sisters who hunt down killers and collect body parts while complicating their lives with volatile magics, bizarre visions, and a mysterious mouth in the wall. Think Junji Ito meets Little Women.
I have one signed print copy remaining in my shop.
Everyone thought my idea was a terrible one to perform a shadow puppet play in the utter dark where no one could see anything. Ultimately though, I held steadfastly to my own vision and put on the play and no one liked it and they said it didn't make any sense and was a waste of time.
Please hire me to be your town sorcerer. I can decorate manhole covers to look like supreme pizzas. I can organize a fair for squirrels and hand out tiny blue ribbons. I can come up with new local cryptids and legends that aren't quite as good as the ones that already exist.
Psychic chickens may have an otherworldly concordance with the cosmos beyond all human comprehension but that doesn't mean they give great advice.
Please hire me to be your town sorcerer. I can walk around the neighborhood and point out particularly large beetles and dragonflies. I can toss biodegradable confetti in the air whenever a townsperson has an epiphany. I can sit on top of the old barn during the blood moon and contemplate toads.
I keep seeing this extremely tall guy in a brown tweed jacket wandering the streets during the full moon, putting turkeys on his head and eating his way out. A living teddy bear with rows of shark teeth follows him around. He keeps saying "I'm definitely Mr. Bean," but I'm starting to doubt him.
Here are a couple bags I recently designed and hand-sewed. They're perfect for holding all your essential items, such as tiny friendly frogs, vintage finger puppet monsters, miniature Garbage Pail Kids soda cans, pinecones with googly eyes, little violins, and lady ETs.
