I'm going to be disciplined. Wake up early and exercise. Like, actually be an adult

*learns that would require me going to bed at a reasonable time and not staying up late for no reason whatsoever*

Me:

“Did Abraham Lincoln ever cosplay as Edgar Allan Poe?”

*HEAVY eye roll from the Salmon of Knowledge*

To be clear, I’m *not* saying people who do video calls at full volume in a coffee shop should be launched directly into the sun. Definitely NOT saying that.

…but if they were, would anyone miss them?

I’d like to build a range in my backyard to practice with the English longbow, but local laws seem to suggest this is illegal, which could put me into conflict with the local sheriff. Might have to hide out in the forest to do so. Might need some green cloaks—

“Wow, this really escalated quickly. I see how this happens!” I say as I’m robbing an abbot passing through my lands.