I'm going to be disciplined. Wake up early and exercise. Like, actually be an adult

*learns that would require me going to bed at a reasonable time and not staying up late for no reason whatsoever*

Me:

Me: *tries cool kids slang, laughs, turns to kid* “See, your dad’s still got it”

Kid, without looking up from breakfast: “You’re over halfway to a senior discount”

Me:

Pulling up "Documentary Now" episode 1 on Netflix. What?? Bill Hader and Fred Armisen playing offbeat elderly women in a mockumentary? Funny wind down before bed.

Last five minutes:

Twitter saying the quiet part out loud with this one. The users are not their customers

https://business.twitter.com/en/blog/update-on-twitters-limited-usage.html