Hate when I’m recording a video ranting about the poor customer service I just received and I’m not looking where I’m going so I fall through an open manhole cover

Megan won in court. Greta sent Andrew Tate to jail. The universe has been very clear, 2023 is for the ladies

@SixStringCat snapping the taco shut dramatically to hang up on someone

The main problem with smartphones is that they don’t make them in novelty food shapes

Everyone around you is fighting a battle you know nothing about. You are a 17th century warrior with ADHD and you are spacing out hardcore on the battlefield rn. For the love of god, focus

I pry open the crab shell but instead of sweet crabmeat I find a tiny, bustling city filled with people who have my face. It tastes terrible

@vaguelyweird it was its formative life experience for sure