Just apologised to a Deliveroo cyclist who nearly cleared me up when he was cycling the wrong way down a one-way street. Stay tuned for more stories of me apologising to people whose family will complain that their relative has been killed by something heavier than a pedestrian.

That Suella Braverman Small-Boat policy in full:
"We will begin a comprehensive programme of fire prevention, but only after we have concluded our current programme of constantly throwing accelerant on the fires we already have." #Clown

Having introduced two generations of children to a Christmas Grotto, I believe I have empirical evidence that the instinctive response of all young children is to mentally ask: "Yeah you say he's a benevolent guy with a beard, but why do you never see Santa and Charles Manson in the same room?"