I'm losing a lot of followers on Twitter once the location feature showed I was living in a dumpster behind an Arby's

I know I missed #caturday but I wanted to give a shout out to Oliver, the office park cat. I don't know what this little monster eats or how she has survived 4 summers in Phoenix in this office park with no grass or water, but I would take a bullet for her

Getting escorted out of another Arby's because the manager won't let me in the slick meat speakeasy. I know it's back there.

RFK dipped out of that room so fast because he knows he's the one that let that guy take a pull off his whale chode jerky

He cast his sandwich into the void, and the void responded "not guilty"