Here is the photo I took today in between all the preparations. Even though today felt mostly like any normal day, I still felt the need to share something.

I can grab some things by the hand — all it does is frustrate me. A speck in my eye, a spot that would not leave me alone. No immersion, no movement. It pokes me from both sides. No chance of going back, only forward from here.
Perhaps that thought made me find beauty in loss — pushed me to allow this to be, and to seek a different meaning, one that transcends the initial impulse...
Where is the boundary between acceptance and escape?

Walking across the emptiness, rebuilding the decorations. I knew no essence of these places, and all I had, all this time, was a combination of shapes — the labyrinth I entered myself, from which I knew no escape.
Now some of its walls are crumbling, and it frightens me...

But what is reality? Isn’t it supposed to be shaped by us? What difference does it make?
I had to accept the results of interactions.
Grief turns to curiosity, but anxiety lingers.
Reconstruction is something I can do, but why? Why would I? Why do I want to?

Exercise in letting go.
This should have been like the last time, and what I was anticipating was exactly that.
What turned out, though, was a different beast.
Memory fails me. Lost places — in my mind and in reality.

I've released one track from the upcoming album!
Go check it out!
https://fatassbully.bandcamp.com/album/opakaparia

Harness.