Great news, everyone! My password was selected to be published as a short story! #typingfatigue
Since closing out my "bird site" account is now inevitable, I'm taking steps to ensure the account isn't recovered for shitposters.
At this point I'm setting MFA, adding a complex password, and pointing recover to a burner webmail account that's also running MFA.
This really sucks, but I'd rather be at the edge of the forest than in the middle when someone catches it on fire.