@unmind I find the same thing. In the end, I turned my back on western occultism for pretty much that exact reason - it made a kind of sense of my psychotic experiences but I wasn't supposed to linger in them. The spirit that was with me throughout them made it clear that the process was intended to liberate me from my western mindset and deliver me to wider truth, and it stepped aside in favour of Shiva's influence as soon as was practical.

I've met a lot of psychotic people who were very trapped in the mindset I worked so hard to get out of. There's a certain beauty to the ignorance of Abrahamism (e.g. Jewish esotericism) but imo, it doesn't make for a happy mindset. The ideas presented in Buddhism are difficult to immanentize but they're more "obviously correct" to me.

@unmind Thank you for such a detailed answer! I wish I could read any Chinese or Japanese... I feel like I've toedipped in Buddhism at best. To be honest, I call myself a Dharmist because in both psychotic and psychedelic states, the truth of the Dharma feels so immanent and self-evident to me, but I've got a lot of wires crossed and I'm not well read at all. 😭

@unmind I know nothing about Shingon! What attracts you to it?

@VD15 Imagine the smell

@unmind Tibetan Buddhism has fierce deities! But yes, for some reason I find them quite calming to behold.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckJhvt2hydE