Twitter is that crazy ex you see in a grocery store and transform into a can of beans just to avoid acknowledging their existence.

Didn't do laundry so I guess it's time to cut armholes in our pillowcases again.

“I know you think you’re being funny, but honestly Dave, it’s just hurtful.”

Happy Friday 2 December to those who celebrate

What happens when your unstoppable hate for me meets my immovable indifference?