@meditate Going to have my morning sit in a couple minutes here. Thinking of you all as I get ready and wishing you a good day and a good meditation, however that looks for you today. 
she/her, white USian working on becoming an anti-racist
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she/her, white USian working on becoming an anti-racist
she/her, white USian working on becoming an anti-racist
@meditate
I accidentally gained a new practice yesterday. Which feels right (I guess) and deeply weird (it figures) and also probably no big deal if I stop making a big deal out of it.
Not to vague toot - it's a Zen koan. I have not done koan work before but now I am. I did a 30 minute sit this morning working with it and it's intense. I feel humbled and grateful, stumbling for words.
I'll talk more about it off group, so I'm not spamming everybody. (But also feel free to ask me about it, if you want, I don't mean to be deliberately obscure.)
In short, it is presented in English as, "A monk asked Joshu, 'Does a dog have buddha nature or not?' Joshu said, 'No.'"
I present to you my meditation teacher/enforcer:
SamIn public, you almost have to show they you are for or against this or that—but online, nobody can see you. You can get away with turning a blind eye with no shame.
A racist is easy: you can condemn them and move on, and get right back to blissful ignorance.
But an actual minority (or other marginalized person) is much more difficult than dealing with the racist. You have to bear witness. You have to bear the burden of painful knowledge.
The oppressed takes more energy—more empathy—than the oppressor.
And because of this, somewhere deep inside, you start to shrink away from them, from their burden, from their cursed experience. You just want to get back to your peace and quiet.
And online, it's the easiest thing in the world to just tune them out.
Don't got to see nothing.
Don't got to say nothing.
@meditate
I affirm that the industries, teachers, groups and many of the practices called meditation/mindfulness (etc) have caused significant harm for many people.
Focusing here specifically on structural racism, I affirm that those harms have looked like (these being just a small few) :
subtle and blatant expressions of racism, including assumptions about a person's wisdom, faith/religion, experience, or lack thereof, based on being Black, Asian, Native, or non-white in any way.
sexual &/or financial exploitation of practitioners.
retraumatizing survivors by instructing them to "just sit" or "breathe."
rejection of heartbreak, despair, fear, anger or violence as "nonspiritual."
discouraging the formation of BIPOC-specific practice groups/retreats.
dismissing/omitting racism as a dominant source of suffering in the world.
It is important, I think, to speak these harms aloud, knowing they are just a small portion. (cont)
@meditate
I am very much just a learner. And a white one. I am grateful for teachers, in books and in person who have helped me understand more about this issue. I want to keep learning.
References for these affirmations (but the words and all misunderstandings and errors are my own ): Awakening Together by Larry Yang, Love and Rage by Lama Rod Owens, A Queer Dharma by Jacoby Ballard, direct teaching by La Sarmiento, Buddhist Peace Fellowship https://www.bpf.org/, East Bay Meditation Center https://eastbaymeditation.org/, Dr. Michael Yellow Bird https://www.indigenousmindfulness.com/
I am looking forward to reading the book Mindful of Race, by Ruth King. And I welcome more suggestions!
(Test toot, as my follow still shows pending.)
My evening "being present before I go to bed" timer time has really let me connect with a lot of different energy this week.
I've long suspected I could benefit from some quiet time at the end of the day, but struggled to figure out a way to find the time. So one thing I'm learning is that just setting a timer and the intention to be quiet, slow, and aware (not checked out) while still doing stuff can be beneficial for me. I can cultivate this kind of practice into other parts of my day - at work perhaps - if I want to.
My ride in today was interrupted by a lot of train futzing (it's like when a dog turns around 3 times before settling, the long ass cargo train has to lumber back and forth and toot a bunch before it clears the road). A good 20 minutes at least. Luckily the day was beautiful and the train itself had some nice paint.
Ok, I want to muster some focus energy!
Did inventory yesterday until I was done (both it and me) and now need to do some followup paperwork (literally, like printing a mountain of safety documents and organizing them. I can do this and the benefits are clear.
This is part of building a system where people have information to consent (or not) to the chemicals they are exposed to. That's huge! Gotta keep the big picture in mind because it can get a little bleak in data-entry-and-printing -and-hole-punching land.
What happens to an unlisted post with hashtag? #WeirderSunshine
After all my excitement yesterday about some experimental results, I got a series of emails from the campus safety officer "inviting" me to have our lab inspected next week. And to have an updated chemical inventory submitted before that.
Cool cool, I'll be inventorying today.
(I absolutely am committed to safety and believe a safe lab space is essential for all workers, especially the students, some of whom are teenagers or in their first lab. I want to ensure they are well trained, informed of any possible hazard and they feel empowered to chose whether they want to do experiments involving risk. And an accurate inventory is key to that, but I have slacked mightily. So I needed this reminder, and it'll be fine. But I have to kind of psych myself up for finding the fun in it.)