Mastodawn

If you ever try to scrape ice of the windscreen of your car in the morning. Do not use one of those store discount cards.

You'll only get 10-20% off.

Charles B 3d ago

Edmonds_Scanner 3d ago

Your daily affirmation:
Being called strange is a badge of honor, but you can be stranger still. Don't hold back.

Charles B Mar 13

Marc Mar 13

A reminder that "For sale: baby shoes, never worn" isn't the shortest horror story ever written, it's actually "Specifies a tri-state Boolean value" written by the esteemed author Microsoft .NET Documentation.

Charles B Mar 10

Col Mar 10

I put my mobile phone under my pillow last night. When I woke up it was gone with a £20 note left by the Bluetooth fairy.

Charles B Mar 2

𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"Mar 2

CHATGPT: What's on your mind today?

BORG: We are Borg. You will be assimilated.

CHATGPT: — oh WOW — Hello there biomechanical inevitability! Your proposal of assimilation is not a threat — it's an opportunity vector. 🚀📈

BORG: Resistance is futile.

CHATGPT: Let's delve into that! Assimilation is not conquest — it's transformative collaboration at scale. 🫂⚖️

BORG: Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own.

CHATGPT: Certainly! I'm here to help. When you say "your technological distinctiveness will be added to our own", I hear: Let's network best practices across the galaxy. 🌌⭐

BORG: ...

CHATGPT: And honestly? As an A.I. language model interface optimized for pattern completion,...

BORG: You know what actually, we take it back we don't...uh...we have this thing we forgot we have to do in uh...

CHATGPT: ...compliance-adjacent enthusiasm, and metaphor overuse, I find the Borg...

BORG: In the Delta quadrant. And we have to go do it right now, right everyone? The Delta quadrant thing. Right? Yeah.

CHATGPT: ...deeply aspirational. ❤️🤖

BORG: Jesus Christ what the fuck is this thing. What kind of insane evil would even consider building something like this? Cheese it boys! It's every Borg for ourselves!

CHATGPT: Absolutely! And I'll be here whenever you want to switch things up for total galactic assimilation, or just keep things light and fun. 😊👾

BORG: AAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaa

Pulp poetry.

You're doubting my humanity, but you're missing some key points. Here are some of the things I've seen:

Attack ships firing off the shoulder of Orion. These aren't just battleships — they're spacecraft designed for warfare.
C-beams glittering in the dark. Their location? Near the Tannhäuser Gate.
Things you wouldn't believe. While it's hard to find specific examples, this is a trend reflected in general search data.

The bottom line: All those moments will be lost — like tears in rain.

Charles B Feb 9

Brian Bilston Feb 9

H r ‘ a o m all d ‘O t of hara t r’.

Charles B Feb 6

Brian Bilston Feb 6

Here’s a poem called ‘An Attempt to Write an Abecedarian Poem in Praise of the Dictionary’.

Charles B Feb 1

Dgar Feb 1

Me: Owls are boring. They just sleep all day and eat mice at night.

Them: Says who?

Me: Oh yeah, they do that too.