I keep hearing conservatives say they want to “own the libs.”

Lib ownership may seem attractive, but once you own a lib, you have to care for it. Libs need constant feeding and watering, and must be taken for walks twice a day. A lib can live seventy years or more; owning one is a lifetime commitment.

I'm worried that many conservatives just aren't up to the responsibility.

Remember: “A lib is for life, not just for Christmas.” Think hard before getting one for YOUR young conservative.

America was founded on the promise of freedom and equal rights for all.

In reality, this has always been unevenly applied. Freedom is a constant battle, and everyone’s rights are FAR from equal.

The most American thing we can do is to keep pushing hard for freedom, liberty, and truly equal rights for EVERYONE.